Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Am I a woman hater, or what am I?

Weeks ago (edit 14.05.08: months ago) a good friend of mine, a good woman, asked me what happened to Finndistan. I told her that I started writing again, but that she may find that the style may have changed.

Last week she told me she read the stories, and that while the topics are the same, that I was right, I had changed. She added matter of factly with a broad smile, “You have become a woman hater, haven’t you. “

Now that is something I totally disagree with.

No woman hater. Some women out there are the most beautiful, inside and outside creatures ever to have walked the face of the earth. No matter how tiny a fraction.

If I got to be anything, if there is going to be label attached to me, I would call myself a “conditional equalist”. (word does not exist)

Got to clarify though.

This is not what is called equal outcome. I do not believe in equal outcome.

I believe in equal opportunity. I believe in the equal right of choice.

What I would call conditional equality, if there is no other humanistic way of saying this, is equality respective to starting conditions.


You have right of choice of anything in life. At least you should.

What I do is, I let the women reap the benefits of their choices,


I expect them to pay the price for their choices.

Independence does not come without responsibility. Nobody is entitled to anything, and I am not accepting anybody’s entitlements without expecting them to take the bill for that.

We are all equal to some extent, but we are not same. That creates a difference in choices, perks, talents, advantages, disadvantages, preferences and priorities.

Thus wanting equal outcome is like wanting oranges to taste like cherries.

Conditional equality is tasting oranges and cherries and rating them, rewarding them in their relative ways. Without letting one rating hurt the other.

It is basically,

“You can do whatever you want to do. As long as you accept the consequences, good or bad, and take responsibility for them.”

Of course there is a high chance I will be called a “woman hater” when I expect women to take responsibility for their actions, and decide I have the right and the necessity to make my judgment on those actions based on my reality of existence.

So be it.

If that is the price for treating women as responsible humans, and not a special race, then be it.

If I am a “woman hater” for not accepting some choices women make, let that be the price of respecting my existence, the way I should respect it. My given right and duty.

If I am a “woman hater” for speaking my mind about responsibility, that shows you the level of freedom of speech we have.

Btw, there are zillions of writings about what responsibilities men have, should have, are running away from… Laws are there about men’s responsibility with no mention to the lack of choice attached to that. So no need for me to make the zillion +1th comment on that.

Monday, March 10, 2008

My answer to Anonymous

I received a comment to my previous blog entry about single moms, and gave a reply to it.

Then I decided to modify it a bit and make it a blog post.

The original can be found

To the second poster.

One, I am almost totally sure this is a female talking.

The used language, which I will quote to give my answers sentence by sentence, just tells me that. Nothing wrong with a female commenter of course.

But something wrong with a cheap attempt in trying to shame men for standing up fr themselves, and also a cheap attempt in defining what a man is.

"The image you are giving of men is pathetic."

Don't try to shame me. The image I give is not pathetic, it is a person who respects his nature and one of his foremost needs. You call it pathetic for the sole reason that it does not serve your purpose. A man who has preferences in a woman is not pathetic, he is picky.

"Really, a real man doesn't consider children as sperm."

Real man. Hmmm... More intended shaming. Who are you to define what a real man is? Maybe we should let the men decide what it is to be "real man"..??? Well, let's redefine sperm as bloodline. And yes, a man considers his children to be HIS legacy, HIS bloodline... Not some other dude's from his lady's past.

And bloodline.. That feeling of bloodline is what has created civilizations, and that is what has caused men so readily to give their lives in wars for the protection of their offspring and women.

Take that away... you take his existence away..

Oh sorry, "Real men" don't need that. Right?

"For a real man it's not that difficult to be an adult friend to a child that's not his"

I accept. But for the child it is said to take two years to accept the man as some kind of authority figure.

A man must love a woman a lot, to undergo that.

"A wise man understands that this kind of things are just that difficult as adults make them. "

A wise woman knows that her choices have consequences.

"And he will be happy because he won't pass the woman of his life just because she's got a child. "

This was a side concept in the story. I was mainly talking about the entitlement the women showed.

And, men need to be as pragmatic as women in these things. Not think with their dicks.

Women are far more realistic than men in relationship issues. A man with an ex-wife problem will easily be overlooked by many women, who in the same time expect eligible men to overlook the two brats they got in tow.

"In this case, there are more wise women than men, I guess?"

Women and men in these cases have very different controlling conditions, so the fact that they make different choices also is based on the fact that they start off at different conditions. Comparing oranges to apples, you cannot say which one is wiser. You can say which one you sympathize more, and why. And I can disagree.

"Oh dear, I feel so sorry for those narrow-minded men."

Shaming shaming...

Narrow minded because they require responsibility from the woman on her choices.. Wow... I thought that was a main condition of being an adult. Responsibility.

"Luckily, I know, there are a lot of wise men too. "

Glad I am not close with any of the men labeled "wise" by this mentality.

"Don't you know couple of them too?"

I know... I know the ones which fot my definition.

Some are honest bachelors living their life to fullest,

Some are good fathers good husbands living their life to fullest, respecting their family and people around them. Striving hard to make a quality life for their family.

All these men hold themselves to high standards, and thus expect high standards from their surroundings.

And if the bachelors one day decide that the kid of woman is not problem, they will be good fathers to that kid.

But if they decide that they want to spend their life raising their own bloodline, that will be their preference, and their way of being evolutionarily wise.

It is interesting how something that serves a natural purpose of the man is so readily rejected by a person, possibly a woman.

Nobody is rejecting the fact that women so openly look for ambition, potential, good job in a man, all which translates into the ability of a man to support a family.

But then when the man wants this family he is going to support for the rest of his life to be his, then it is shallow....

Oh well, I said what is needed to be said.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Wicked Mentality

Ms. Somegirl: “Men are so easy…”

Finndistan :“Depends on the context… We can be easy, very easy, or we can be impossible”

Ms. Somegirl: “No. Men are easy.”

Finndistan: “Ask your friend over here”.. I turn to the single mom “What you think? Are men easy if you want more than sex?”

Ms. Singlemom: “No. Men are so difficult.. I cannot find a man.”

Finndistan: “How old were you? 31?”

Ms. Singlemom: “32”

Finndistan: “Two kids?”

Ms. Singlemom: “Yes, 5, 13”

Finndistan: “Two fathers?” sidenote: at this point I am playing the guessing game

Ms. Singlemom: “Yes”

Finndistan: “Father of the first is an asshole, and he does not help your raise the kid?”

Ms. Singlemom: “Yes.. He was an asshole.”

Finndistan: “Father of the second is also an asshole?”

Ms. Singlemom: “No, he is my best friend.”

Finndistan: “And you are looking for a long term man.”

Ms. Singlemom: “Ooooohhhh… Sooo difficult. I so much want a man to take care of me…. But men are afraid”


You know, I am not going into the point of a man’s view too much, or at least try not to…

After saying that I am sad for what I heard, she seemed like a likable person…. Let me rant:

Ladies… Please… Please…
What is this entitlement syndrome we see here?
Little princess got knocked up by two different guys… Did not manage/want a relationship with any of them, - no, men are not the only responsible one for a broken relationship - and now is looking for a man to take care of her and two kids, one of who she calls “a crazy girl like me”, who will never accept this guy as a dad with authority over her..

This relationship is mental and financial suicide for any man in her “possible husband” target group, who is heroic enough, or in other words, stupid enough to indulge into this kind of insanity… For a woman who will almost always side with her kids against the father, if the situation arises.

A man who is ready to invest his limited money, energy, and more importantly his not renewable limited source of time, into raising the sperm of other men. This goes against any instinct the man has. Under forty years of age, a man that accepts this is taking a big risk, and is also doing the woman a huge favor. Now, there is also a high possibility that this woman will not appreciate that act….

Added to that, she thinks she is entitled to have a man take up the mess and clean it???

Yes, I do assume there is a mess somewhere…

I may sound harsh, I will not apologize. If this disturbs you, suck it up..


A similar story, different girl:

“Yea, am staying at my friend’s place.. The boys are at their grandma…”


“I got two sons…”

“Your husband?”

“No.. I have no man..”

“The boys fathers?”

“They are not with me…” notice : they

“Must be difficult…”

“Not too bad… Now I am looking for the man of my life..”

“So now, you’re looking for the man of your life?”

“Yep. The man of my life… nobody around though”

My comment will be same as above. As an addition,

“nobody around” = highly possible she is overpricing herself out of the market.

I may sound harsh, I will not apologize. If this disturbs you, suck it up...