The Easter Boat Trip

Easter 2004,
Homes are too far away, we do not want to stay in town...
Want to eat good food,
So take the ship to Stockholm...
These are collection of events:

*****

Our Indian walking around the ships corridors with an Italian....
Hears a door open, and an erect dick peeping out from the door, shiny and wet...
The dick is joined by a naked man’s body a couple of seconds later...
Swinging and swaggering, the dick with the body turns left, turns right, looks up, does not look down,

Sees my friends,
Still erect goes back into the room..
In the room, as my friends pass by it,
A vagina with a body is seen, trying to get the knickers on...

Italian is “What the fuck”
Indians holy words to the Italian: “Take it easy”

*****

The Turk,
Has the girl,
Goes to room,
Only to see one Italian busy on the bed....

*****

I am basically raped on the Italians bed, and enjoy his face when I tell it to him,
Knowing he was busy on the bed half an hour after me...
He gets pissed off...

*****

the Indian drinks and in two hours is pissed drunk, running around, aggressive behavior..

The Finns in the next room, have started drinking Friday afternoon, have not slept in the nite, continued drinking, Saturday did not leave ship, did not sleep, continued drinking, in the nite, continued drinking, and did not sleep, and were still “Whazzzzuuuuuup” to me, on Sunday morning.

Indian drank half bottle Absinth... Almost died of alcohol coma...

One Finn had a vodka cherry 50cl bottle around three am on Saturday, and when I went up for breakfast at nine am, he was finishing a 20% liquor, one liter bottle... And had another nite to go... He was alive... Incredible...

******

I drink on Friday nite,
Around two in the nite, I need to wake up, because of some lady issue...
had two coffees during dinner, and in the mentioned hour, I had four more...
At three I join my friends in the disco...

They go sleep,
I sit down in the lobby and chat till seven pm....
Just fucking cannot close my eyes....
Half a week later, today had my first coffee...

*****

Go talk to a girl, bent down,
The guy talking to her comes and kicks the chair in front of me,
I get a full power hit on my knee...
Turn to him,
“that was my fucking knee”..
The guy goes, “Aaaaay aaaaamm ssooorrrrghy”
The girl, funnily, looks at me and says,
“Why are you so aggressive?”
Anani avradini......

******

Am walking in the corridor,
There is a girl and two boys chatting, I pass them by, and my ear catches a distinct
“Gigolo”
Turn back, look in the guys face,
“I have heard that word too fucking many times, and am getting bored of it!”
Two guys, and one girl... If they want to kick my ass.. I am dead...
the guy says.
“uh uh uh.. I was talking to my friend”

******

An Italian hitting on a lady which I introduced to him..
- Hey I want my beer for that!!-
Near the end of the night, she asks him what will happen to them when he turns back to the US...
I bend down, and cry,
“Teach me how to do that Master”

******

A girl sitting there is checking me out, I am chatting with the Turk...
a girl comes up and says,
“My friend has sent me, she thinks you are handsome”
“Tell her to come say it herself”
She does not come...
Half hour later,
Another girl comes,
“That girl thinks you are good looking”
“Tell her to come”
Somehow me pointing at her makes her come...
We have a five minute chit chat, she laughing her ass off...
“I have a boyfriend.. He lives in Ahvenmaa” – an island in which the ship stops
“Good.. One hour is enough for a shag”
“Asshole”

******

Actually that night I was called an asshole by five or six different women...

******

The small Italian calls me for wingman action...
I go..
the girl is boring...
I know the Finns like silence, so am checking the dancefloor out... Not trying to continue this pain in the ass conversation, in a country where conversating guys are considered desperate...
The big friend of the girl sitting to my right gets up, so I just leave the wingman formation, and hit on this other woman beside me...
Later in the nite, when my buddy wanted to kiss that girl, she told him,
“Your Turkish friend... Is he a problem?”

THAT PISSES ME OFF...
My actions should only affect me, not some innocent bystanders....

******

I am sleeping,
The door opens,
“Are you sleeping?”
“Yes”
The guy goes to the other room,
“Are you sleeping?”
“Yes” they say...
The guy and the girl go on a venture in the ship to find an empty place...

******

Italian and Indian hitting on girls,
Indian to the girl:
“Fuck off”
Still reason unknown...

******

Ah Indian Ah...
You will never learn...
The girl in the chapter gigolo..
I stop her..
We start conversating..
On the third sentence, the term shag is introduced..
On the fifth, gigolo, and me being the manager of the other Turk, who just joined us...
Half an hour into the conversation,
Basically shaggedy shag shag style... Nothing else is spoken about,
It all laughing, entertaining.. Damn good..
conversating on how many guys she shagged.. etc...
So I need to pee...
When I come back, the Indian is also in the conversation...
The thing is that while I was away, the Turk took over and the Indian arrived just on the topic that she likes to shag blacks and greeks...
Just as the Turk was going on about dick size, Indian jumps in,

“what do you do?”
The Turk tries to divert the conversating back to dick issues, as the Indian goes,

“Wait man, she did not answer yet”
As if the answer is important...
Learn man, learn :)

******

For the first time in my life, I was called “nosey” by maybe the cutest girl in the ship....

******

Indian has decided that girl is Russian..
Has a boyfriend.
Goes up to her,
Says something in Russian,
Boyfriend jumps in,
“Hey what are you saying?”
Indian, turns to him, psycho eyed,
“Am I FUCKING talking to you? who the FUCK are you? I am talking to her, shut up”
At this point, not only the boyfriend, but also the Italian accompanying him are peeing in pants, according to the story told to me.

******

Late in the night, four pm...
The “You are aggressive girl”, and the other guy, we are chatting, she told me she will not hump that guy, so I am playing it cool..
Guy asks me where I am from,
“Germany”
“Können sie bitte plustapeiren”
“Ha?”
“Können sie pitte p-hustöpiöran”
”What you sayin’ man?”
”Können sie bitte plastebpierchen”
“What the hell is that meaning..”
“You are lying, you are no German.. you do not know German”
“Ok say it in English”

.....

What he was trying to test me on was : Können sie bitte buchstabieren

Some like black

One year ago, am in Cafe Europa, a saturday evening.. Quite empty...

Meet this Turkish guy I know, working in a Kebab place, and he asks me about *****, a girl I am seeing those days.. Seemingly she is his exgirlfriend’s good friend, and so he knew her..

I see this one girl, she was there with a boy, seemingly on date with him, and another couple, drinking..
The boy gets her a drink..
The boy gets a kiss...
Now a french kiss...

I tell the guy I am talking to, that I like that girls style, even though she is not beautiful, she is sexy..
He tells me that she comes to the coffeehouse that the Turks go to play cards... All the guys including him, have tried her, but got shot down...

She is dancing...
Leaves to the toilet...
On the way,...
She stops by the black guy leaning to the wall, near the entrance to the restrooms.. They have a chat for fifteen seconds, the girl goes to the toilet..
The guy follows fifteen seconds later...

Tic tac...

Tic tac...

Women come and go from the toilet, but this girl is nowhere to be seen..
Oh, and there is a queue in front of the men’s toilet...
The finnish guy, the girls’ kisser is flipping out, shouting around, only to be calmed dawn by the other girl... During that time, he swallows two or three beers... No help...
Fifteen minutes...

The black guy appears, leans back on the wall..
The girl appears, gets her coat and leaves the bar.
And I have this beautiful smile on my face, a smile that exists on my friend’s face in the same time..

Double edged ethics

Interesting that I, not the most ethical, politically correct man will write another ethics texts...

Yes people, be good, and live a kind life. Care for others and make them happy...
Bullshit..
Shut up.
Hehe....

Readers of this site will know about the questions I get about how many wives I have, why I left my girlfriend at home, etc etc...
Or comments like, I am lying, I am not single etc....
It is expected, that I do not hurt women?
I do not cheat on my girlfriend(s) whatever...
If am married, do not go out...
Cry if a girl breaks up with me..
Cry if I break up with a girl...

Not even cry, because I do not break up...

Take women as they are, psychedelic freaks :)

If I do one small thing not approved by the society, not that I care much, get the banner : asshole glued on me....
For example lets say I hit on a girl, I slept with, hit on, or have been hit on by,
The girl I am currently interested in, freaks out, tells me she can’t do anything with me.. Etc etc.....
Fine.

But then,
If it is such an important fact if I have girlfriend that I am cheating on or not, and if I am, and that is the worst thing I can do,

Can somebody tell me why there are so many men carrying fake wedding rings, to get laid easier?

I wonder.

Why women have difficult time being happy

This is no deep text...
------- If there’s someone calling my texts shallow and uninteresting, please go to the sauna and stick that handle of the water thrower up ur ass...

Anyway,
Women...
Women think too much...
They do not think about the world...
Seems like they live their life in a way to make it harder....
When writing the ethics text, remembered this..

Must’ve written about them couple of times,
Meet the short blonde more than three years ago, she pulled that good girl shit on me, I bought it... Nothing happened except me getting blue balls too many times,
We stopped seeing each other..
One day I see her, two years ago, she tells me that she has cheated on her boyfriend, and she is a bad girl now...

I go whatever,
Later that day I started flirting with her friend, the tall blonde...
First one goes crazy,
Starts a fight with her friend, cries in my car telling me how could I’ve done it, she loves me...
Nooooo, it wasn’t me who had the blueballs, who had called to be flaked on couple times, I wasn’t the one who got the good girl play, while some other dude enjoyed the bad girl...
So, the second one, after two three dates with me, stops saying hi...
Fine.

A month ago,
Three years after those incidents,
A girl comes up to me in a bar,
“Finndistan”
“Yea, who are you?” – This is becoming quite a classic incident these days...
She says she is friends with the two blondes,
I remark that it is nice for her to come, and ask about her friends...
She actually turns out to be a nice chat,
And just because she is the best friend of the two, I pull an ultra tease on her, enjoying myself like hell...
I sense an attention ho psychology behind her moves, so basically am not planning to give her the kiss she longs for, even though her lips are less than a finger away from mine...

Entertainment.. turning the game around, fun :)

One and a half hour through the tease, she tells me something like she will not do anything with me tonite – as if I am the one craving for the kiss – because of her friends, her friends, who are still talking about me, after three years... Talking about me in a way that makes this lady want me so bad, but makes herself stop for the sake of her friends.... Or makes her stop after being teased on for so long...

I wonder why those two, instead of having mutual fun, and happiness (whoaaaaa.. that is corny...) chose to give me blueballs...

A link to a good friend, and the best compliment I ever got

Here is a link to a friend’s webpage,
Actually also a quite famous website around these places,
www.sebastyne.net

And after a nite which we met in a bar, had a short convo,

Just had the notion of seeing what new diamonds she has written in her page – as some things there have changed my perception of my surroundings,
I see me.
Me in a text.
Read it.
Go back to that night,
A smile on my face,
Read it,
Get goose bumps,
Read it again,
Get my eyes full...
Think to myself, this girl has talent,
Feel good.
And realize, I’ve never gotten a better compliment...

Not from my friends, not from my love(s),
Not from strangers,
Not from passengers in my life....


Greetings to you Sebastyne!!!

Added on 04.04.2005

Later on she wrote one of the hardest critics in my life. She had all the right to.

Stupidity in mass scale and sexual harassment

Let us take Turkey for example,
Man woman,
There is eye contact...
The girl looks away, the guy waits for a few seconds, his heart beating, then turns...
In less then a minute, eye contact is reestablished...
The girl looks away, looking down first...
Heart races...
Not even another heartbeat away, the eyes meet, and a slight nod, or even better, a slight smile appears in between...

If the guy is bold, he will have a direct approach, and initiate conversation...
If not, he will wait for a good time.

Eye contact.
Done flirtauously...

Why am I writing this?

The coming event is based solely on eye contact.
And stupidity.
So why do I write about eye contact and not stupidity?
Stupidity exists everywhere, eye contact does not exist in a flirtuous way in Finland.

The story starts on a nite in Panama...
Having such a good time.... Friends all around, met some Kosovan girls, ultra bitchy, but fun, speaking Turkish all the time, I am in good mood, had three coffees, together with baileys.. * lick my lips again*, the friends around me are in a good mood, the bar does actually not exist.. At least not too much...

My head jolts up in laughter, some bastard just exploded a joke, on my way down, I see her staring at me from the distance I could actually spit across... Of course no eye holding.. The moment she sees I see her, head flies in a hundred and eighty degrees turn,
I thought her neck is broken now..

Back to friends...
Ah, they are going sitting,
Join later,
On the table there is this girl, possibly one of the most beautiful in the bar, and turns out to be a lot of fun to talk to, besides being a friends’ ex....

Later, join my friends on the dancefloor, two hotties, four guys, and me..
A-ha, .......... there she is, staring again.. Catches my attention, evaluate her – a lie, at the third second of seeing her, I knew I would lay her, risen the opportunity...
Somewhere she passes me by I hold eyes, and tell her to stop, she smiles, continues her way...
Back to business :)
This time, I am dancing with the ex, there she is, staring again....
Somewhere she passes me by I hold eyes, and tell her to stop, she smiles, continues her way...
Talking to a good friend nearby the stage, getting life lessons, she is staring...
On a bet, talk to the cute Russian down there, she is staring...
Somewhere she passes me by I hold eyes, and tell her to stop, she smiles, continues her way...- After saying “Never”, and me shrugging my shoulders, WTF... I think...

Later on,
She literally sexually harasses me by her looks.. I am not saying looking in a nice/bad way.. Simply staring like a stupid cow watches the train pass by...

-------------------

So there she is again, some weeks later...
Lady staring again,
Me, in good mood, indifferent to the outcome, go up to her,
Oh, what do we have?
A why the fuck is he here look.
So what?
“About a month ago, a girl harassed me in Panama, with her stare, wonder if it was you”
“No”
“No?”
“No”
“You have not been there?”
“No”
“What, you are underage?”
“Yes. I am nineteen.”
“Is it seventeen plus fake id nineteen, or twenty one too old nineteen?”
“Nineteen....”
“Hmmm... so I am mistaken. Can happen”

And she has this get the fuck away look in her face, still, and still I do not care...
Her friend says hi to her, .......... I know her...
So we start talking, I tell of the event, and she goes:
“Yes, that is her.”
“You sure?” I ask,
"Yes I am.”
“She said she does not go to Panama”
“Oh he does”
“So how old is she?”
“twenty two” – the bitch lied.
“a-ha... liar.... :) “

Some convo about her, and her friend, and the event, telling me she does know about the story, even before I told it...
“she does that sometimes..”
“I see...”.. “I do not like that”
“Sorry”

Anyway, so when I turn back to the bitch to tell a couple of words, she turns around as if disrespectfully dismissing some poor chump trying to hit on her.. While I had no intention of that.. Not worth my dick, such stupidity...

Anyway that kind of rejection shows how much of a lowlife low confident creatures some of the women out there are just in the need of feeding their egos, not knowing what they want, no goals in life, no ideas about who they are or who they are talking to.. MTV generation, not having watched movies like the last Mohican, not even able to tell the guy, “Sorry, am not interested.” Not even confidence, nor humanity as such. No need to spend my time on you, or your likes.

Wish guys out there would think and behave that way, life would be more fun for us, and for those poor wretched creatures.

I may have written hard stuff there, but as little as it happens to me, I still see some women walking over guys they would dream of being with, just for the sake of feeding the hunger for their self importance... Who the fuck are you?
If you stupid women out there do not like it that guys look at you, so fucking stop staring at me and then acting like you are the queen when I get curious and come up to you. There is no free food for your lowlife egos distributed by me.
Act like mature women – mature meaning over twenty, not like underdeveloped cows in the girl shape with nice breasts...
Soon I will start calling breasts the brains, as sometimes there exists nothing in the area where it should...

At least I know where my brains lie,
Honest as few men are,
Between my legs...
Hmmm...

Now I feel relaxed, yeaaa....

Time passes by, taking us with it

On Monday, sitting in front of the pc,
Just am about to leave...
Thinking why the world is still shaking,
Apparently having forgotten I was on a cruise that weekend,
Wonder why the world seemingly floats around all the time...

MSN Pops up:
You have received mail from xxxx

Who the hell is that?
I read the first sentence,

Telling my license plate in Turkey, and using the words which tell me the story will be from Ankara, a night where I had to talk with the guard at the university gate...

Then I read,
11 March 1998...
Now I know this is going to be heavy...
This will end in a fight between me and my past..
I need to leave..
Curiosity prevails..
Press the print button,

On the way to the car, read the rest...
Remember an event six years ago...

A girl keeping shy about a guy she wants to meet..
A guy, not having the guts to talk to an interesting girl more than asking a question...
Two people leaving into the night’s darkness.. Maybe not to see each other again...

They meet...
May...
Ankara...
Warm...
Spring...
Mayfest...
Concerts..
Open air,
Tshirts..
Young...
Innocent,
Shy...
Fun..
From what I understand, we meet in a cafe...
Possibly CafeMiz in Arjantin,
Not sure...
Not sure, but this event triggers me..

And the fire spreads...
The fire makes me realize..

That I just know that,
Time passed by, and so many people have been left undiscovered,
so many lives unnoticed,
so many friendships unstarted,
so many loves left untouched...
so many kisses unkissed..
so many hearts broken...
so many suns unrisen...
so many rivers dried..
so many feelings unborn...
so many fears unscared...
so many stories not experienced..
so many joys skipped..
so many laughters forgotten...
so many I love you's unsaid..
so many hugs undone...
so many tears unshed...

Six years later, when she writes that text, she does not know she put the dagger into my heart, into my soul...
I will not see her again, nor can I remember the face,
But the time, I felt; the feeling I had stay with me...

Friends all over the world, Faroes, Pakistan, Portugal, States, England, Denmark, Germany, Sudan, Cyprus.... All have a place in my heart... this mail made me realized how much I miss them, the times we sat and had fun... The times we did not have fun... The good, the bad... Anytime we had...

Spring may ninety eight.
Six years ago...
I am single...
Pass by an opportunity to meet someone interesting...
Someone who can write such a beautiful mail...

Six years ago, when my brother was seven, and I am again away from home...
Six years ago, when my friends were young, unmarried, not parents...
Six years ago, when I was driving in ODTU’s campus listening to 110th street, windows open, smelling the forest....
Six years ago, when I broke a heart...

And I read the mail...
Opened the door to the car..
Turned the ignition...
Eyes full, tuned in City Radio,

Heard Alice Cooper singing Poison...

Running through your veins...

Do not remember when I drove to the city... Came to myself when the garage button had to be pressed...
And,
Now I will sit down to write a mail...
No idea what to write...
Just am thinking, what if... what if??
Reason is I remember the gate incident, remember I was frigging excited...

I know I missed something...
That something triggers others...
And the chain breaks...
Time does not come back...
Old friends are out there somewhere,
To people I never met, want to say I wish I did,
To friends I did not meet for a long time,

I MISS YOU ALL!!
IT HURTS!!!