Monday, September 27, 2004

The downfall of the energizer bunny

Two weeks ago.

My best friend in the country, my fourth brother, my mentor, my neighbor, was going to leave the country, back home.
So, we spend a week out…
And that week, I slept with three girls I did not know before.
So, three girls… a very good week…
A trip for my body, a trip for my soul, and a trip for my ego.

Then on Sunday,
I call this girl which I hoped to see on Saturday night– did not, saw somebody else.
On the sunday call I did not even get shot down.
She was just busy, on a dinner, a little misunderstanding, too tired both, no argument, no fuck offs, just that I could not see her.

Whole psychology broke down. After some messaging on Monday, and a phone talk, it went worse…
I could not get to myself the whole week….

A sign that what I feared had come true… Then some news on the weekend. A sign that I must embrace that what I feared, or walk away. Both requiring extreme sacrifice and courage.
Still to be decided….

Then,
Fear.

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