Monday, December 05, 2011

Crazy. Stupid.Stupid. 1. Your biceps dont make me attracted

The world would be a better place without the media giving dating advice to women.

For men, basically do the opposite of what they tell you.

Crazy Stupid Love? Do the first thirty minutes, as the rest of the movie, which basically tells you how meaningless the first thirty minutes is will turn your lovelife into a clusterfuck without love, without any fuck.

How does this translate into women?

The first time I saw her, I noticed her from far away. Long long legs. Very stylish dress. Long brown hair and interesting features.

When I got to know her, the sarcasm and the irony put me off, and that was it.

After that,


Then I see her again.

With a cute blondie beside her.

"Hello" I say

And the chat starts.

I get the vibe she is in need of attention. Too bad.

Give her some.  Give her friend some. Tall girl wants more attention, but am off to my friends, not time for dealing with neither irony, nor sarcasm, no matter how much the eyes are looking into mine.

Standing by the dancefloor, she comes to stand beside me, I look around, acknowledge her, say something about the dancefloor, and just continue looking  around.

She pokes me.

I turn.

She has her arm up, flexing the biceps.

A respectable biceps,

"Hmm" I say, turn

She pokes me, now clearly pointing to her biceps,

"'right" I say

she continues poking, in the same time making puppy eyes.

"Russian porridge?" I ask, no she shakes her head

"All natural?" I ask, she shakes yes with her head

"Ok", I turn to the dancefloor.

Yea, was in asshole mode.

She says something and drops the topic.

I was thinking to myself, girl, what you read in the magazines, ahh, what you read in magazines.

A respectable biceps, is a respectable turn off.
A respectable biceps, is for a ladyboy.
A respectable turn on, respectably comes from having the meat in the right places, tits'n'ass.

What's next? Women putting bananas into their pants?


  1. That is bizarre. Maybe she was hoping you were really a woman?

  2. Or some sensitive new agey guy who is turned on by biceps instead of tits'n'ass?

    Had she shown me her legs....