On Friday, in a club, chatting with my friends, an old man, fifty something, homely dressed, beige corduroy pants, checkered shirt, and a red pullover. Some hair loss and sadly, drunk.
With my broken Finnish, we had a conversation like this:
“How’s your evening?”
“Good, thank you. And yours.”
“……” – did not understand this part.
“Enjoy the evening.”
“My wife is a beautiful woman”
“Your wife must be the best woman on earth”
“No. She likes young guys”
“….”
“She is not here?”
“No. She likes man of twenty five, big and young.”
“Sorry to hear that”
“She likes men like you”
“….”
I had to leave.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Saturday, December 03, 2005
The trap
I had just lost a beer on a cute card trick, and I am in the process of getting up to go to the bar.
On my way up, I turn to the ladies sitting beside me, and:
“Hey ladies, I just lost a beer to this guy here because of a card trick. Why don’t you take my revenge and beat him on that trick?”
“Nääää”
“Well, your choice…”
“Where are you from?”
“He’s half Canadian, half Turkish, I am half German half Turkish”
“Oh”
“Sprichst du Deutsch?”
“What?”
“Do you speak German?”
“No…”
“So, do you speak Canadian then?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No..”
“You must know they speak English”
And there was a face….
On my way up, I turn to the ladies sitting beside me, and:
“Hey ladies, I just lost a beer to this guy here because of a card trick. Why don’t you take my revenge and beat him on that trick?”
“Nääää”
“Well, your choice…”
“Where are you from?”
“He’s half Canadian, half Turkish, I am half German half Turkish”
“Oh”
“Sprichst du Deutsch?”
“What?”
“Do you speak German?”
“No…”
“So, do you speak Canadian then?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No..”
“You must know they speak English”
And there was a face….
Impossible memory problems...
The girl walks in with a foreign young man holding her hand... This boy, though he is Muslim, knowing the market, carries a huge cross on his neck… She is a nineteen year old blondie.
Anyway…
This girl walks up to the dancefloor, and her boyfriend of the night goes to greet his own buddies. She notices the guy standing beside her. She notices him, but is too shy to say “hello”. She keeps on looking. The guy notices this and starts looking at her when she is not watching him. He looks confused. His eyes roll to the left to the right, trying to find in his memory a vision of her.
He can’t.
She gives up, and goes to her boyfriend for the night.
He turns back to look at his buddies.
The two buddies by the bar are watching him, both are looking like these freaky pumpkins from Halloween…
He goes to them, and says..
“Have you seen the gorgeous blonde beside me? I know that I know her but I cannot remember…”
The two pumpkins, at the same time,
“Dude, you fucked her”
And this guy just recently had his first two digited sexual partner.
Anyway…
This girl walks up to the dancefloor, and her boyfriend of the night goes to greet his own buddies. She notices the guy standing beside her. She notices him, but is too shy to say “hello”. She keeps on looking. The guy notices this and starts looking at her when she is not watching him. He looks confused. His eyes roll to the left to the right, trying to find in his memory a vision of her.
He can’t.
She gives up, and goes to her boyfriend for the night.
He turns back to look at his buddies.
The two buddies by the bar are watching him, both are looking like these freaky pumpkins from Halloween…
He goes to them, and says..
“Have you seen the gorgeous blonde beside me? I know that I know her but I cannot remember…”
The two pumpkins, at the same time,
“Dude, you fucked her”
And this guy just recently had his first two digited sexual partner.
Cleanliness
When you are walking on any road with flowers or some kind of earthly bank beside it, like forest, of street plants, wonder if it’s too hard to spit onto the side of the road where nobody passes, instead of spitting your lungs out onto the pavement… The extra effort is really not that much, but the pavements would look more like a civilized pavement, instead of some spit lakes…. And I do not think the plants on the side of the road do mind the spit that much as we humans do….
Monday, October 10, 2005
First this.... (part 1 of 2)
Meet this Turkish guy in a bar, and during the conversation, he goes:
“So you are married..”
“No…”
“Hmmm”
“….”
“Divorced….”
“No”
“……”
Silence…
“Did you come here from Antalya?”
“No”
“Marmaris”
“No”
“So how did you come here?”
“I came from Ankara”… did not tell him why I came, and saw the puzzled look in the face….
Some time later, a friend of mine and the same guy meet, and once more the guy goes:
“So you are married..”
“No…”
“Hmmm”
“….”
“Divorced….”
“No”
“……”
Silence…
“Did you come here from Antalya?”
“No”
“Marmaris”
“No”
“So how did you come here?”
“I came from Canada”… coincidentially he also did not say what he is doing here, and once again, I got to witness the puzzled look in his face….
Of course, 70 million Turks work on the beach and get married to foreign women…
Or,
Maybe not….
“So you are married..”
“No…”
“Hmmm”
“….”
“Divorced….”
“No”
“……”
Silence…
“Did you come here from Antalya?”
“No”
“Marmaris”
“No”
“So how did you come here?”
“I came from Ankara”… did not tell him why I came, and saw the puzzled look in the face….
Some time later, a friend of mine and the same guy meet, and once more the guy goes:
“So you are married..”
“No…”
“Hmmm”
“….”
“Divorced….”
“No”
“……”
Silence…
“Did you come here from Antalya?”
“No”
“Marmaris”
“No”
“So how did you come here?”
“I came from Canada”… coincidentially he also did not say what he is doing here, and once again, I got to witness the puzzled look in his face….
Of course, 70 million Turks work on the beach and get married to foreign women…
Or,
Maybe not….
Then this... (part 2 of 2)
Met this Finnish girl in a wedding afterparty,
“Where are you from?”
“Turkey, Germany…”
“Ah… Turkey… When did you come here?”
“Five years ago”
Mentioning the gorgeous lady, who happens to be the reason why Finndistan has slowed down…,
“She brought you?”
“Where are you from?”
“Turkey, Germany…”
“Ah… Turkey… When did you come here?”
“Five years ago”
Mentioning the gorgeous lady, who happens to be the reason why Finndistan has slowed down…,
“She brought you?”
Small small world....
Got to meet two newcomers to town that night....
With one of them:
“Hello, I am this-and-that”
“I am Finndistan”
“Finndistan?”
“Finndistan.”
“Finndistan this-that?”
“Huh…. How do you know me?”
“You were five classes above me, in high school…”
“That was ten years ago, when I graduated…”
“Yes, and then when I came to the university, you graduated from the same department…”
“Kidding?..... And now here?”
“Funny eh?”
“Yea, funny…”
With one of them:
“Hello, I am this-and-that”
“I am Finndistan”
“Finndistan?”
“Finndistan.”
“Finndistan this-that?”
“Huh…. How do you know me?”
“You were five classes above me, in high school…”
“That was ten years ago, when I graduated…”
“Yes, and then when I came to the university, you graduated from the same department…”
“Kidding?..... And now here?”
“Funny eh?”
“Yea, funny…”
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