Friday, September 10, 2010

The Judge, Day Five– Shooting myself in the foot

The judge stories were sitting on my laptop for months as I thought they were too heavy, but then in the context of coming posts about men setting the context of the interaction, of evaluating (some call it judging) being a man's duty to his ancestry, I had decided to post them.

Another reason was the perfect event happening to me which would close the lid on the pot of the boiling waters of judgment.

Is there a price to pay for being so evaluative?

Except being picky on who I see again, no. Not shagging a girl who does not pass my evaluation is not a loss, it is good riddance to bad rubbish.

Is there a price to pay for being so evaluative in the open?

There can be. And it can be a heavy price.

I paid it when met this Lithuanian girl some time ago.

In the conversation, carelessly, I let slip some of the things I think about the nightlife, I judged everybody around us.

Of course, she took it as me judging her, too.

Conversation continued, the flirt continued, but in the context that I desired her, that one night, she felt she would be judged by me. On the other hand, in a relationship context, she was cool, and interested, because she felt that she would not be judged if she played that game with me. Sometimes, I do act stupid.

With my evaluation I poured over the people around us, I eliminated the option for a short fling. I, without knowing at the time, and unintentionally, only kept open the option of committed dating.

Lesson learned, and moving on:

Thou shall judge, evaluate.
That is thee duty.
Thou shall shut up.
That is thee other duty.
Thee judgment will be in thy attitude, not words.

Btw, her dating her dentist did not help my cause.

In retrospect, a girl who is flirting that much with me when she's in a relationship, is not a big loss, taken in a long term context.

So then, is the price high? Or is there no price to pay? Am undecided.

Still know I shot myself in the foot.

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