Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Porn kills your dick's soul

I had been jerking off to porn since I was twelve.

Last year I came across yourbrainonporn.com, in a time when I was contemplating that porn might have bad effects on my psyche, sexuality, and even life.

Last September I decided to give it a try, to see if there is a difference if I don't watch porn, coupled with no masturbation (another post).

During all this time I would still have sex.And I did not know at that time that the sex would be mindblowing, abundant, hard and satisfying.. I did not even have clue on what was about to come.

First two weeks were hard, then and energy surge came over me, which, unlike what they report in studies that the testosterone peaks after a week, did not peak, it just kept rising.

Four weeks later, I started meeting girls easier than ever. I was getting signals left and right, and the interactions that I started were going well and fast.

In the gym the weights started flying, at work my head was clear as frozen waters of the arctics.

After a slow weekend, on a sunday, six weeks after the start, I watched porn, did not jerk off.

Monday: No motivation at work. Brain totally foggy, could not concentrate on the smallest thing. Gym: Weights crashed. Training sucked. Women: no motivation. I was down. I was suffering a temporary depression.

It would take another three days to get back to a lower normal level.

Another two weeks to get to some energetic level, and another four to start to fly.

On the sixth week after the first slip up, when life was flying high in all aspects, I watched porn again. It started with erotica, then I moved into french vintage, did not jerk off

Again the same:


Monday: No motivation at work. Brain totally foggy, could not concentrate on the smallest thing. Gym: Weights crashed. Training sucked. Women: no motivation. A depression of mind and body.

 And again, it would take another three days to get back to a lower normal level.

I had learned a valuable lesson, and I had almost enough data points.

Would make the same mistake after the next six weeks, even shorter time spent with porn, but an even greater effect.

Then a month ago, after two, two and a half months of no porn;

At a time when I was having trouble to pee in the morning for minutes, when my dick would rise to the sight of a girl bending down in the gym, when texting would get me hard, when just the thought of a girl coming over would give me a boner, when the gym was going crazy, work moving forward, and numbers accumulating, meeting gorgeous and feminine women,
On a sunday when I was having a girl come over in the afternoon,

I opened an erotica page.

From there went to some french vintage,

From there to some russian stuff,

Then to some amateur porn.

Spent close to two hours devouring images, videos, watching other guys fuck chicks that I would like to fuck... Not jerking off, knowing that release will soon knock my door,

Something also dawned on me that day: The absurdity of it. The perversity of it. Watching other guys fuck the chicks I want to fuck? What the fuck? And that day marks the end of my experiment. Now no-porn is a lifestyle, just due to this realization, if not for the following:

My visitor came.

Girl is the copy of an actress that I was in love with in my teens, and then we were the same age with the actress. This girl, mid twenties,  is younger than the actress now, and as beautiful as when the actress was sweet sixteen.

This gorgeous girl goes immediately to my bedroom.

We undress.

I have this naked gorgeous real life body touching me (writing this I get hard, tasteless info, but shows how a healthy male sexuality works),

What did I have in my head?

I could not get the image of a fucking hairy frenchman going "Voila voila voila uuuaaah"
The image then merged into a russian going "Davai davai davai"...
That image morphed into some german amateur dude shouting "Jaaa jaaaa jaaa",
And these images rotated.

I was not able to see the naked body I was looking at, I was seeing some french actress, some german girl, some russian girl with cum all over her face, sweaty balls and hairy pussies.

I did not get hard.

Not a bit.

I had a dead dick.

I was suffering dick death.

For few seconds the images left my head, I got hard a bit, managed to have some half assed sex.

Later, after some foreplay, she came, and decided to give me a blowjob.

My dick was no moving.

I came, I was soft.

This was the lesson I needed.

Took me a week to clear my head of all the porn images running around in my head, and at last, once again, wake up with a hurricane-resistant morning wood.

Now it has been four weeks or so, and I am not ever turning back to

"Porn is a legit sexual outlet"..

No, it is not.

Porn kills your dick's soul.

And no one who has not stopped porn will even know what it means to have a dezombified dick.

"Dude you crazy"

"Yep. And I am also the one who's killing hamsters with his morning wood"..

12 comments:

  1. was the french guy's last name is woodsman?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For the greater part of every day, I am wanking it like the world might be cancelled on short notice tommorrow and our bodies must be turned in for re-programming. If you have an excuse, mine is bigger.

      Delete
    2. I can't bring myself to watch his movies. No matter if they are staged or not, they will change your view of the cutiepie walking down the street, because he's got a knack for finding the most innocent eyes that are ready to fuck for money.

      I used to go for the 70's vintage french.

      Delete
    3. Rum,

      I used to jerk off even after I had a girl over and we had shagged three times. One last jerk before I sleep, it was.

      Only thing I can tell, is that the first week is hard, once you get past the first week, the clarity of your dick will be a new feeling.

      It's like dropping wheat. First week you're fucked. Headaches, flu symptoms, brain fog, lethargy. After the first week or the second, the walk on clouds starts.

      Delete
  2. Did you masturbate without porn at all? If you did, how did that effect your sex drive?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not in those six months. I did not masturbate. then I broke the chain, and will write about it later this week.

      The effect, though, while being strongly present, is nowhere near to porn.

      I think the watching other men fuck the girls you want to fuck, is the real problem.

      Jerking off to your memories maybe would connect you more to your own experiences.

      Stay tuned

      Delete
  3. I'm guessing looking at solo females would be different?

    ReplyDelete
  4. In my experience it is.

    I presume these two are different things:

    Watching another man ram the girl you'd like to ram
    Looking at a girl you'd like to ram, posing in the meadow.

    But, one pic, two pics would also be different that seeing hundred girls in an hour.

    Latter case damages the abundance mentality, puts a scarcity mentality in its place (looking at all the women you don't have), and also the photoshopping skews the connection between your brain and dick, in matters of attraction.

    My related experiment:

    http://finndistan.blogspot.fi/2013/04/masturbation-kills-king-of-dongs.html

    Like I say, you can't know the effect until you try.

    Now am two weeks into no jerking, no porn or erotica and the way I woke up this morning, have no intention of going back.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousMay 13, 2013

    Inspiring post. Even though your results seem extreme, your brutal honesty and willingness to try something different is refreshing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Looking back, jerking off since I was 11, porn almost since that time, I realize the energy, willpower and confidence I lost to these things.

    Sometimes I wonder how life would be different if I had a mentor who would explain this to me, make me test it and realize the effect porn, erotica and jerking off (in descending order) have on my life, my sexuality and my confidence.

    Instead we had jokes about jerking off makes you blind... etc.

    So this brutal honesty about a limp dick is there the least I can give to the younger men out there who grow up to the combined filth of Zack and Miri Make a Porno and Czech Street Casting.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I've gone up to 5 months with no porn/masturbation, I did not notice any difference in the way women treated and/or interacted with me. And everyone in general was the same. The 1st week was easy, the 2nd and 3rd were awful. After a month you kind of get used to it.

    ReplyDelete