Friday, June 18, 2010

The Tiger Robe -1- 200 pounds of self confidence



Friends from different towns called me say they are in town.Apparently some grad party was going on.


The phone came around 6 pm, and they were already bombed to oblivion.


I went to my gym, had some food, donned my down jacket, went out to take the walk to the party address at -15 celsius.


My fingers freezing, my toes having lost feeling, (ok, am exxagerating), I call them to tell I am close, and would they please come down to open the door.


They laugh, drunk as they are and say they are outside smoking, waiting for me.


At -15 celcius, I get greeted by two guys, enjoying the hot temperatures with only army boots and bathrobes.


One of them with a tiger patterned bathrobe.


Later that night, due to the lack of place – 30 party animals in a flat of 26 square meters, including the restroom – I find myself with a buddy sitting on my left leg, me chatting with the cutiepie on my right.


Conversation is fun and I tell the guy


"Damn man, you are heavy. What, 100 kgs?"

"Good guess man"

"Fuck, my leg needs no guess"


The girl, interrupts, asks "is he heavy?"


"Yea, damn. One hundred. I could use you on my other leg to balance him out, but that would break both my legs"

"You mean I am that heavy?"


I turn my head, look her up and down, and say


"One hundred?"


She instantly gets her eyes wet


"Why you say so?"


Mind you, this girl is around 50 kgs. No extra fat on her body, young, engaged, good looking.


"Look in the mirror"


And there she was, from smiling to almost crying in under 60 seconds.


I felt sorry for her, but also got angry, and I guess my angry tone telling her to fucking look in the fucking mirror, and asking her if she sees a woman who is 100 kgs, convinced her that it was a bloody joke.


Telling a girl who is 100 kgs, that she looks 100kgs is cruel and honest.


Telling a girl who is 100 pounds that she looks 100 kgs is a bloody joke.



Interesting thing is to once again see the unimaginably low self esteem of a good looking woman.


No joke of mine can beat this tragic joke of life.



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