Friday, May 13, 2005

Falling into my own trap

After the heavy drinking on the eve of Jesus’s rising eve I had only coffee and cranberry juice that Friday, and ran into a guy I know from Doris, he also is sober. After some good time spent chatting, he drops the bomb…

“I’ve read Finndistan, and got hooked on it. Because of my origins and my life here, I can understand what you write about.”
“I m glad”
“One thing I read, made me remember one thing you said to me, and that made me laugh outloud”
“What is that?”
“The last time I saw you, you told me the thing you hate hearing from people and that is one thing which you always write about…”
“And that is?”
“You told me: ‘You are always here’”

Yup… My trap.. My foot.. And a good laugh.


That night, she was out of town, I think.. I any case, I went to a bar with the guys, having good time.

While I am on my way downstairs to the loo, almost exploding, I see one of her good friends,

“Hello there” she says, “Hello”, I reply.. She introduces me to the girl beside her, a cutie with a white cap.
White cap instantly says,
“Hi, you are Turkish?”
“How come you come to that conclusion?”
“Its in the eyebrows of yours”
“The way you lift them when saying hi, that is so Turkish”
“Is it?”

Turns out she lived in Turkey for a while, but I cannot listen to the end of the story as I desperately need to pay my beer tax to mother earth.

Later, I meet them again on some stairs, and the chat continues.. Because I did not get much out of the first chat, due to my bladder, and few tequilasI ask once more:

“Did we meet before, or you just guessed?” The friend is also interested in the answer, so white cap goes on:
“I worked in Turkey as a travel guide. I am curious about Turkish guys. Had a summer love, but did not work out well… “

Well, a little chat about that, about this, that we actually train lifting our eyebrows, and that the love did not go well, and she is a blonde in Turkey, etc etc…

The Mediterranean guy I am, at some comment, I lift my arm, to touch her shoulder, and she jumps back, a “no no” look in her face.
“Ahhh.. I see… You are Finnish and anything closer than two meters is personal space. Forgive my Mediterranean manners”
Both girls laugh, and at that time, in front of those two, my butts are grabbed by one of the chicky girls in the bar, walking up the stairs with her friend.
This, changed the whole situation.
I turn to the buttgrabbers, my face towards them, but talking to the girls I was with in the first place:
“My butt is not to be touched by these two, That is not allowed.” This pisses of the buttgrabber, but the chat with my two continues.
Thirty seconds later, during the conversation, my butt is grabbed by the white cap, who, just a few minutes ago jumped back when seeing my hand reaching for her shoulder in friendly manners.

A few words exchanged, and my hand is on her arm.
At that point, where the tide had turned totally in my favor, the friend says they need to go. Upon the white capped saying “no”, the friend shouts at her, forcing her to leave.

If this had happened under other circumstances, I would have called this a heavy bitchblock, but at that day, I was happy that my human experimenting was finished by someone other than me, as the price for continuing would be too high for me wanting to pay. I learned from this, what was to be learned, and that is priceless…

Single guys: Find a few girlfriends who will hug you, and laugh with you in the bar. Then you will see how many ready ladies there are, like ripe apples on a tree.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

This is reason for war

She is cute. Her friend sexy.

Has a red tshirt on, and a metal belt which has slid to the side. The guy goes, no impression on his face, looks into her eyes, puts his hand on her belt, corrects it. Smiles.

“Now it is right”

She smiles, her friend snarls:
“You Turk or what?”

Fuck you.

It all depends...

I hugged her, a girl that I like, a friend of a Finnish delight,

My friend comes into the picture,

“Hello, I am Turkish, bartender, and own a kebab place.”
“Bartender,” I say, “This girl is not a usual Finn”
“No I am not” she says,
“She is one of the clever ones” I say,

“Ok, I am a Turkish, a bartender, but do not own a kebab place” he says, we all laugh.
Easygoing people are the good people.

My mistake

She says Hello,
I say Hi...

Once upon a time I tried to help my friend out by hitting on her, so she will not trouble my friend, who was hitting on her friend.

These two girls are always together.

“You two are always together, aren’t you?”
“Yes, we are desperate.”
“…. You know you Finns have a very interesting definition of desperation. “
“Why you are saying this?”
“I don’t see a reason why two girls hanging around together should be called desperate.”
“But I did not say “desperate”, I said “best friend” “
“Can I write this?”
“You can.”

Friday, May 06, 2005

Funny translation, again

Whoever translated this, thought purely in Finnish.
I mean, if I would start selling rolled out condoms under the name: Dickbags, would it be good business, I wonder.

Gratitude goes to O. for info on this shop.