Monday, August 10, 2009

The best pick up line

“Ola... I am Markho... I am sp-hanish... I am an exchange stud-dentt... You are beautif-hul, no?”

Said by a generic spanish to a finnish girl who had not noticed the guy before.

Two seconds delivery of the line, and the spanish dude got to pick up the goo, the molten leftovers of the girl, from the floor and take it home.

Years of observations compel me to do a public service: if you are a spanish guy coming to finland, be sure to mention spain at every opportunity.

This goes as well for french, americans, brits, scots, especially aussies. Use this info, and feel free to abuse it.

Italians need to exercise caution in making sure of coming across as a slimey bastard, which will keep the congruence with the mental image in the statistical majority of the ladies.

Oh and, if you are not from these countries, but think you can pull it off, you have my blessings. Go my young one, go. May the force be with ya.

I dedicate this post to S., the cigar smoker.

Bro, never listen to what they say. Trust your own eyes.

A reason of not listening being necessary is that ladies, as a population, have a need to create the illusion of supply being scarce.

Promise to write a long post about this once I can tie it to a story.

Kissing Italy

It is Saturday.

It is night.

We are out.


Unlike our surroundings.

The energizer bunny of the group has been dancing on the floor for the last two hours, shoulder to the left, butt to the right, then reverse direction.

There is this girl, whose friends I know,
Watching her grind a Finn, I asked the girl that I know, “I did not know she is single”… For me to ask that question, that grind must be a bit more of an evolved grind, I must add.
“No no no… She is engaged”

After grinding the Finn, I spot her grinding an African dude… Long time…

After the long time, the lady is now grinding a Middle Easterner dude…


A few other grind partners later, I spot her grinding the energizer bunny… “Damn” I think to myself…

She dances, grinds, rubs her ass against his crotch..

Turns around,
Grabs the gum the Italian has been chewing all night long, puts it in her mouth and happily enjoys the pleasure of chewing on a gum with a substantial amount italian spit on it.

That view was still ok, until started thinking about element number 37 in the picture. The fiancée.

The fiancée, who will at the end of the night welcome this drunk slut (oh, did I just say that?) to a warm and welcoming home, and kiss her a passionate kiss, take her into his arms, and give her a passionate goodnight kiss, after some long (or short) lovemaking, involving a lot of kissing,

Having no clue that that all the time he is ingesting, swallowing, licking and tasting the spit of Energito Bunnito from Italy.

Food poisoning is something I prefer to this disgust.