Saturday, January 29, 2011

Caveman? Or just a man?

"Dude you are primitive"
"Finndistan, this is a civilized place, not a medieval one like you came from"
"You know, here we respect women, asshole"
"You effing caveman"
"We live in the two thousands, you bigot"

Are a handful examples of things I have heard when I talked to people about the stuff I talk about here.

There always is the assumption that men in this civilized country think different that I do. And that their way of thinking is the right one while I am being a medievally backwards bigoted asshole.

Asking some good friends some questions to which my own answer would be a simple no, the men who have options with women, the men who have experienced women and the ones who have no problem getting women attracted to them, without fail answer:

"F#¤k no"
"You crazy?"
"Hell no"

The answers I get from guys who do not have these options

"Why you say that?"
"It is ok"
"It does not matter"

Just by looking at the guys' answers and their situations, even if correlation does not prove causality, it is clear that options and intolerance go hand in hand. Which one came first is the chicken egg problem.

Seems being medieval makes you get laid, or getting laid makes you medieval. Or a man gets laid and is medieval, due to another personal factor...

Which brings me to:

Standing by the bar with a drink in my hand, just observing the environment, when I see someone looking at me in my peripheral vision.

I turn, and see him, a guy with whom I shared some history and a guy wtih whom we are not on clear grounds. Friend? Foe?

But whatever, he looks friendly so we strike a chat.

As it seems, apart from a bad start we had, he actually is a friendly dude, so the chat moves into personal areas.

It helped that an intimate female friend of mine coming and asking me how the f#¤k I know this guy, in front of him.

It again helped that five minutes later, a friend of an intimate friend coming and saying hi to him, a girl who I chatted previously and am on very good terms with.

And another five later, another girl coming to hug him while "Whazzup"ing me.

He assumed I slept with all three; one I did, one I tried, and one I will not even try.
And I assume he slept at least with one of them.

Now the interesting thing is that this guy is one of the guys who has sampled the best looking girls in town, I have seen some of his lays and at least once, I had appreciate him silently, and that was when we had some bad blood in between.

After the three girl incident we continue our chat, and this civilized man, living in a free, civilized society, wanted by women, and who I presume gets laid more than I do, is sexually civilized, is asked by me, the medieval asshole,

"What are you up to nowadays?"
"I am in a relationship"

"Knowing you, I can easily say she is lucky to be chosen"
"Yea, she is great"

"Good luck"
"You know what is also great?"

"What is great?"
"She does not "know" you", said with a proud, genuine smile.

What can I say; it is a valid selection criteria.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Fallout of the Sexual Revolution 4 - Empowered and invisible

I was sitting by the dancefloor, sipping some soda and listening to "Passenger", by Lou Reed.

Three boys enter my scene, I do not notice them until the girl sitting on the table beside me gets up and walks to the guys.

Important to tell that the table she was sitting on is blocking half the entrance to the dancefloor area, so it is impossible to miss.

I quickly assessed the guys. Two were students, the techie type, the other was a blend of frat boy with hipster. This third guy was the guy who the girl went up to, I name him the Hipfrat.

The conclusions I will come to from following are pure speculation, as I could not hear what they are talking, but their behavior was shouting.

The girl goes to Hipfrat.

Hipfrat takes two seconds to remember the girl. But he does.

Hipfrat immediately puts his hand on the girl's waist, hold it.

Hipfrat introduces the girl to the other two. Both guys' faces light up instantly with a shit eating grin, and they shake their head to the girl with the expression "Ahh, she is the one... (insert: devious sex act)", and you can see their eyes undressing the girl.

Hipfrat takes his hand from her hip, and returns his attention to the guys, the girl tries to catch his hand, but misses.

Half a minute the girl stands there, and then tell Hipfrat her byes byes, to what he just nods.

A sexually empowered woman, who was totally invisible to the guy who enjoyed that empowerment.

You go Grrrrrrrl!!! Empower yourself to invisibility.


What if every sexually empowered action a woman took would be indeed a withdrawal from the "Bank of Feminine Worth", a bank that does not accept deposits from the account holder?

What if,

Men want to deposit value into an account that has had not too many withdrawals?

Just what if?

The fact that women line up in front of the "Bank of Male Worth" to make deposits to the accounts of the guys who possess the ability, skill and intention to indulge in sexually empowered acts is not my problem. Thus women willingly adding value to the guys who actually do withdrawals from the bank is not my problem. Thus the fact that men who make withdrawals are actually increasing their value wealth because women are making deposits, is women's own doing.

Before ladies complain, "But this is not fair! This is a double standard"; well, stop lining up to fill male accounts that have a high turnover, and stop rejecting accounts that have little or no withdrawals.

And then, this whole question is a "What if?", only rhetorical...

You know, presented as an exercise for the brain.


Of course seen from my point of view, any woman sleeping with me does not make a withdrawal from any bank.

Now, what another man thinks of this I may not know.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The one difference

This is a memory from years back.

Four guys in a bar, all doing well with women. Reaping the benefits of sexually empowered women.

But one of these guys is doing crazy with women.

You would know how a group of four handsome men get attention from the environment, it was enormous. But still, this one guy was getting way more attention than the other three.

Handsome? Check for all
Masculinity? Check for all
Fun? Check for all
Charm? Check for all
Preselected? Check for all
Women looking almost in awe? Check for all
Many other supporting traits? Check for all
Intelligence? Check for the three, a total uncheck for the one who was banging away like a rock star.
Body language? Check for the three, a slouched posture for the one banging like a rock star.

Attitude towards girls?
The three had the attitude: "Let's see if there is a girl I would be interested in"

The one who is banging like a rabbit on steroids in an all female rabbit farm: Opens his arms, leans back from his slouch, and says "Don't know why all the chicks love me"

And this was the key that negated bad body language, minimal intelligence, and so on.

Makes me put a smile on my face, as that is the master key.

"All the chicks love me"

Intelligence makes you self aware, being self aware leads to self criticism, and this is the inevitable problem of the thinking man; also happens to be the ultimate weapon of the thinking man who turned toward the dark side.

Now that I remembered this,

Resolution # 6: Decide if you'll stay on the lighter side, or get to the dark side and accept the price and the infinite rewards.

Because it could be inherently evil, to attract women like flies fly to shit, just by internalizing the "All chicks love me" mentality.

It is really so simple.

Difficult maybe,

But simple.

What the eff am I fussing over some unexisting dilemma?

All is fair in matters of love.

Ain't it?

The bunny who thinks she is a turtle, and a resolution

We had met some weeks ago, she made it clear she takes it slow.

I was not attracted enough to pursue in the way that would have gotten me laid in seven days' time. Could have taken her to a date in town, dinner and wine, and by the end of the week, dinner and wine in my place, and the key would open the lock.

I have my peculiarities, and this is one of them: I did not do it.
I have my peculiarities: I told her I only meet in private.

So our relationship turned into sexting.

This went on for some weeks, where she many times mentioned she wants me to take her out to town, I made it clear we meet in my place.

Like I said, I was not attracted enough to go through the hassle. Though the woman is gorgeous, it was not enough to turn on the switches.

Sexting was around five weeks ago.

In the meantime we met, and the flirt continued, to the second base.

Less than three weeks ago, she texts me from my usual bar, "Why are you not here?", I was out of the country.

So I am back, and she had not replied to my message two weeks ago, nor did she initiate contact,

So I send one, asking what she is up to,

"I am in a serious relationship now"

That, a girl who claims "I am slow", "I need to get to know you", "I do not take guys home from bars" and so on.
That, from a girl who was sexting me, and calling me just three weeks ago.
A slow girl going serious in three weeks. I would call that speedy.

Though the main reason was my lack of attraction towards her, still I made the mistake of listening to a woman.
Not taking her to dinner, even if I knew it would open the lock, is my decision. That is not the issue. Could have had her easily, was not willing to do what was necessary. Was seeing if I could get that self proclaimed "Difficult girl" in a way that I deem easy. But listening to her was a mistake.

It is a good thing because it once again is a lesson to not listen to what a girl says, to remember when the one comes who I am attracted to.

There are few options: He is more attractive than me; or he clearly showed he would commit to a woman he just met; he was willing to go on a dinner date to get laid, she was spinning more than one plate while sexting me, I got played, I was special,

It really don't matter.

What matters is that a man never forgets to finish the sentences a woman says

"I am slow"... with you
"I need to get to know you"... because you are special, but I did not need it with him, him, him, him...
"I do not take guys home from bars"... unless it just happens
"I did this the first time"... with you. The previous ones don't count
"You are special"... unlike him, him, and them, who I rode the night I met them
"I am difficult"... for you
"I am not easy"... for you... you made me decide to change my ways

And so on.

Unless you have concrete information what she is saying is true, finish the sentence according to the examples above.
Always assume multiple plates spinning, and if it is not you who is getting laid, somebody else is.

New year's resolution #7.

Monday, January 17, 2011

I am not a self help guru

Happened so many times,

A girl attracts me. Could be a smile, could be the way she looks, could be the whole package.

There is something that pulls me in.

The flirt commences.

I know I am attracted, because I am there, hard, while talking, and touching.

Then comes the nuke:

"Why are you talking to me, not other beautiful girls out there"

Gone in 6 seconds, not even 60...

I can hear the blood flowing back into my pelvis, I can feel the pressure on my pants leaving.

Why am I talking to you, not other beautiful women?

Cause I chose you.

Cause you are the one that I get hard to just looking at.

But now you put the question in my mind.

"Why am I really talking to her, is there something wrong with her? Has somebody hypnotized me into seeing the inner beauty only? STD? Self esteem down at the south pole? ... ... ... ..."

Kills the fun, kills the flirt.

I am not the self help guru brought to the world to raise your self confidence.

Sometimes, I have salvaged the situation (by catching the erection halfway by saying "give her another chance"), most of the times, it has been "Nice meeting you" in five minutes after that.

If I am gonna put effort, it is gonna be for someone who knows she deserves me.

Otherwise I am selling myself short, this way or the other.

Maybe not. But am not at the spiritual level of appreciating the beauty of dealing with "Why are you talking to me, not them" yet.

Kumbayya, kumbayyaa.... lalalalala...

Unrelated: Wonder how many of those hippy chicks so totally against prostitution are sleeping with the guys who provide them with weed...

No one will come out to identify the culprit

This friday decided to do some barhopping,

After some student party and a hard rock bar, I went into this club which has a higher age average than the places I usually go to. I would guess the average is bit over 30.

Some thirtyish very well dressed women were going in before me, so I thought why not.

Went in, got myself a beer I never had before. Some local microbrewery.

Went upstairs and was still shocked by the view that I had anticipated.

Men over thirty, drunk, desperately trying to talk to women.

Women over thirty, not as drunk as the men, but some desperately waiting for someone to talk to them, some swatting the men away like flies, looking at the one or two men that were apparently the attractive ones.

What did these two groups have in common?

Sadness in their eyes. Desperation. Loneliness.

The place put a knot in my throat, finished the beer in a corner, observing the environment, and left.

Laws are equal, (in reality, for example, effective child custody is at the mother)
If the father cannot pay his child support, the state provides it to the mother.
Equality everywhere, (effing lie), feminism has made women equal (effing lie, some of us are more than equal) yada yada yada

And at last
Divorce rate went past 50% two years ago.

What did all these improvements* do?

Sad faces. Old sad faces. Not just in that specific bar. In the streets. Alcoholic children. Lost children.

But hey, progress is to be cherished! Even if men are offing themselves in droves...

Long live feminism! Long live equality**!

All is an effing joke that is destroying the society that managed to build some kind of safehaven in a Godforsaken place. Congratulations.

* Some liberal foreigner living in finland wrote "At last the divorce rate is past 50%. Means finnish women are not suffering their shitty drunk husbands anymore." Well, in 5 years our libby will be part of that statistic. Lets see what he thinks then.

** Equality. I still have not seen mandatory army service for women. Not to mention the absurd notion of equality in the sexual realm. Effing joke.

Why is it so difficult?

This was the relationship of an acquaintance of mine.

It broke up just after they moved in.

The girl seemed unfazed. The guy lost 10 kgs in a month.

The break up happened two, three months ago.

Will all standards, enough time, for her to find a new guy.

There I was, sitting with a beer in my hand, a friend by my side. A friend who I tried to guide to a different path so many times that I gave up and wrote him off as "Will marry the first girl he finds".

Sitting on the couch, sipping the beer, I saw this girl come to the dancefloor, immediately jump on some spanish dude (yup, this place is a gold mine for latinos), smooch him, climb on him (yup), pretty much use him as a stripper pole that can be kissed.

I turned to my friend,

"Effing slut, could not wait few more months before she went all out in public"
"Dude, what is wrong with that? They broke off"
"Do it in private. Not in here"
"She can do what she wants"

Yea, do your shit in private not in public. What is wrong with asking for some dignity from a girl?

On a side note: The tagged part pictures from Facebook do show an interesting side of women...

The one thing I cannot understand is why is it for some guys to just criticize, judge or hell, outright insult women, even when in private.

She was dating a guy who thought she would be there till death do them apart, two months later she is all over some dude whose face shouts : Latino lover, in public, in a small town?

So why cannot some guys just sit back, relax, and go "Slut", "Bitch", "Cunt"

Maybe they cannot just put those non-angelic images in their head? Or they think that the floor has ears and it will come back to bite them?

What is this fear of using some bad language on women, even when it is appropriate?

Maybe the PoliticallyCorrectosaurus bit their balls off...

Btw, the girl can do whatever she wants, not my girl. But I will give my opinion on that.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Couns have two sides, part 2

Another phrase came to my mind.

I want to see the reactions I get to my conversation with a woman when she - once again, proudly - proclaims that she is/was (kind of) a player.

"You know, I am kind of a player myself"
"I like that. So you are cool with that I will just want you for sex."

Now, got to go out and let the stories find me.

Coins have two sides

Enjoying a 12 year olsd Singleton, listening to Ave End, Lacrimas Profundere, one thought came to my mind watching the snow outside and feeling it not stopping me from going on a short round of barhopping:

What is the key point a woman looks in a man? Humor? Intelligence? Kindness? (ok, let's move to the real world), status, looks, attitude?

What is the key point that will make a woman loose interest in a man?


More like, the lack of challenge.

"I want a man who is a challenge"

You have all the above, but you are not a challenge, your value to a girl is zilch, nada, subzero.

And society accepts this,


I take that, I can run with that.

Can women run with the fact that me, and most of the men out there want a woman who also is a challenge?

"An impossible challenge to men before me."

If I am demanded to be a challenge, so I demand a woman to be a challenge. Just to a wider audience.

The lowest denominator in the history sets the value.

Next time a woman proudly tells me she likes a man who is a challenge,

I will say*,

"I totally agree and say that I like a woman who has been an impossible challenge until just this moment. Can you handle that?"

I accept the 99.99% failure rate. None of those left...

*This behavior is reserved to the ones who proudly state the being a challenge standard.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

One thing I don't understand

 Title wrong. Should be: Brave he was, pity I felt.

Was my first night out after returning from the holidays, so my mood was sour. Had a few drinks, and after seeing that my favorite club in town would rest in peace, decided to jump to the hipster bar near my place.

The bar is full.

Took a double dose of Pernod on ice, and started talking with the people I know.

At some point I knew I had enough, so gave the rest of my Pernod to an acquaintance, and went to check out the dancefloor before I left.

As I suspected, it was a sausage fest.

When I was about to leave I see this brunette talking with her blond friend, by the dance room door.

I have the bored look on my face, and tipsy, she looks and smiles. I take two steps forward, mentally slap my self, and turn back.

"I was leaving, but leaving without saying hey would be a mistake"

And from there the boring chat ensures, where are you from yada yada... Then she says

"We are going to spain next week"
"For holiday I suppose"
"No, for a year"

Aha I thought to myself, few more happy spanish dudes next year.
"You will have fun. Barcelona this summer was great"
As the brunette was repeating "Barcelona" with love in her voice,

Two guys approached, totally wasted,

One lend me his hand, together with a happy face, I take it, shake it, and then the little boy heavy handedly slaps my back, always staying two steps away.

I ignore the fly.

While the guy is still blabbering, I turn to the girls and ask who's boyfriend that is. It is the blonds. Good I think, on to my sour mood now this.

The girls say they are sorry when the boy tries to touch my glasses, after seeing my eyes, he stopped, but he was close to pushing them off my face.

The girls were saying sorry all the time, I did not move an inch.


One, I was in a too sour mood. (The death of my favorite club is a topic I will write later, my battery has 8% left)

Two, next year a whole train of Spanish boy would make him pay for his half assed demonstration of masculinity.

You gotta intimidate someone? Do not be half assed.

Your girl is going on a year of exchange studies to a latino country? Get her tested when back, if you dont dump her before she leaves.