Porn hurts men. That is the main and only point.

My no-porn time continues, sadly I have had relapses with erotic photo galleries, and every time that happens, the effect is clear. Loss of motivation, in life, in gym, with women with friends, and other aspects. A brain fog, and a kind of fatigue of my soul. Definitely not once a week, and is happening rarer and rarer and takes shorter, still way too often and way too long.

This weekend had a chat with a drunk friend about porn,
Coincidentally, Free Northerner links to a piece about the effect of porn on women, men and relationships.

Back to my chat with my friend.

"I'll go home and watch some porn"
"Don't"
"What?"
"Don't watch porn."
"But it is relaxing"
"No. It is the illusion"
"I like to see naked women"
"You are watching another man fuck a woman you'd like to fuck"
"..."
"You are jerking off to another man's dick pummeling the pussy you want to pummel"
"Man I have never been without porn for more than two weeks"
 "So you don't know a life without porn"

Interlude: I know a life without porn and this is why now I decide no porn or no erotica for October, fuck that, for November and December too.

"But man, it is good to watch some porn and jerking off before the date"
"Jerk off, don't watch porn"

And then the link of Free Northerner comes in,

How men watching porn hurts women. Not women watching porn, men watching porn.

Who the fuck cares how porn hurts women...

First answer for the damage that has been done by romance novels. Their unrealistic experiences. Their impossible to attain standards. The white knight in a leather jacket arrives on a motorcycle. He is a bad boy. But he likes her. He is a vampire. But he does not bite her. He smashes fifteen skulls, but makes sure she does not see this brutality, she only knows it. Betrays everyone in sight but not her. Has a sixpack but can take her out to eat pizza in a candlelit diner where the staff are all vampires but out of fear from him, do not drink her dead. Can lift a horse, but never has had to work for his strength. Has time to learn to wield the sword, read thousand classics, and still take her out on romantic flights around the city during sunrise. Vampire, but the sun does not affect him. Because. Because. Of her love.

Aye. Not damaging.

Husband works ten hours to bring bread to home. No vampire. No flight. No choice not to drink her blood.

Oh, ho, and Fifty Shits of Grey... Reading it, wanting it, and then crying for the police when the boyfriend looks at her the wrong way...

No.

I don't fucking care what  men's usage of porn does to women.

Women got bigger sins to answer for.

But for men:

Can a man understand this:

"You are jerking off to watching another man fucking a woman instead of you"
"You are jerking off watching someone else's hard throbbing cock going in an out of the pink pussy you want your average cock to go in and out of"

The perversion?

I have been with porn since age eleven.

Age thirty four I realized the damage it had done to me.

If someone had uttered me the words I wrote up there, my life could have taken a different route.

But no. The most intellectual warning we got was "Masturbation will make you blind"

Fuck you.

See, with porn:

You go on a date having your dick esteem screwed to the ground by watching a big dick pummel a tight pussy. Not your dick. The only reason you seem relaxed about sex with the girl is that you have no confidence that you can pummel her as good as that large cock you just saw.

With porn, your energy is drained.
With porn your strength is drained.
Your willpower is totally decimated.
Your view of women is mutated.
Everyone but me.
Every girl, without me.
What if i am not ten centimeters thick and half a meter long?
It is not just in the head, it is in the body.
Your smell changes. Yes, tried.
You posture changes.
Your stride changes.
Your animal inside you is killed.
The balls are torn off.
The dick is cut.

That is what you are willingly doing to yourself when watching porn.

Yes, you seem relaxed when you meet the girl, but can you separate the knowledge that you jerked of to some other hard throbbing dick because you were afraid of the animal in you, because you were afraid of her reaction, because you were a pussy, a pussy not deserving to be pummeled by the hard throbbing dick...

Porn just has killed the man in your soul.

But everyone does it.

So?

Have you tried?

Do you have a comparison point?

Without porn,

You create energy
You grow strength
You are one with nature
You are one with the woman you are fucking
You cherish the woman, her little human flaws, her smell, her smile, her wetness
Your dick could hold your national flag on a Bofor 12 storm
When you jerk off, you jerk off to your own experience, to your own imagined experience. To your own dick.
Your smell changes. Yes, tried.
You know you can stand up and carry the girl with your dick, if that is what you want.
Your willpower increases
Your posture rises
Your stride strengthens
Your dick feels like one meter thick and three meters long
Your will to meet women increases
Your will to fuck women increases
Your actions to fulfill these will increase
The results increase
Your creativity connects with the Muse
Your productivity connects with the Gods
Your life connects with life
The animal inside you is alive
The balls feed the dick
The dick looks up to his master
 ...Proud and willing to serve

Westerners are born Raycissssssssss

Important:  The person who is the topic of the article retracted his Racism accusation after our chat so this article should be taken as a general rant sparked by a retracted comment. My intention is not to insult or attack anyone. Want to point to a general attitude of people, an attitude which makes living together more difficult.


I wake up to this morning and make the mistake of opening FartBook..

So,

One black guy on my facebook; he refers to himself as black; posted about an event that occured in the previous night.

Summary:

He was dancing.
Three bouncers came up, and held him.
A female staff of the place told them "Not him, him"
THIS COUNTRY IS SO RACIST!

Some perfectly valid points:

Yea man this place is so fucking racist

Another one:

Take them to court

Yup...

Wondering if it would be racist to point out these guys are from places where they burn the churches with people inside them? Or that the strife between ethnic groups in West runs much deper than the strife between westerners and these groups?

For the record, I do not point that out, fuck that, i am not even wondering about it..

They are right, Finns, Westerners, and everyone else is racist.

Shit.

Typo.

Raaay-ccciissss

After saying that this man had the unfortunate run ins with skinheads, so his fuses on the issue might be short,

Let's look at a few facts:

Security was called.

Security was called in such a fashion that three bouncers appeared.

Security was called for a serious issue.

This black man was mistaken for the man who caused the serious problem.

What are the chances that he was mistaken for a white man in a black tshirt.

Damn, I feel the shame of loking at the facts.

I must be

Raaay-ccciissss..

So back,

A black man caused serious trouble,
A black man was mistaken for the other black man,
The staff girl did not say, "one black is same as another black"..
The staff girl corrected the mistake by shouting and waving,
THIS COUNTRY IS FUCKING RACIST...

Noooo,
Noooo, my friend,

A BLACK MAN CAUSED SOME SHIT,
ANOTHER BLACK MAN WAS INCONVENIENCED BECAUSE OF ANOTHER BLACK MAN'S SHIT

Edit: As I wrote in the end, the person the security was called for was a Finn, so I rewrite this part:

A WHITE MAN WEARING A BLACK TSHIRT CAUSED SOME SHIT,
AN INNOCENT BLACK MAN WAS INCONVENIENCED BECAUSE OF OTHER BLACK MEN'S PREVIOUS SHIT THAT MADE SECURITY, FROM THEIR EXPERIENCE, WRONGLY ASSUME THE TROUBLE WAS CAUSED BY A BLACK MAN

There is no racism.

There is

Raaay-ccciissssm

There is one black man whose "this event was racist" comment I would believe, he is a good friend of mine, and he is a rational man, and I know if he says that, it likely was that,

For others,

When I hear anyone not westerner claiming racism, I assume it is


Raaay-ccciissss

I will change my mind after hearing the facts about the incident. Sadly most of the time there is no valid reason to change my opinion the slightest bit. 

You can shout wolf only so many times after the villagers say whatever. Especially if a god number of times you behave like the wolf in middle of grazing rabbits. I have seen black men behave in ways that would get them killed back home, just because they know the locals here would not raise a finger in fear of being accused by the non-washable taint of racism.

P.s. Behavior is a choice. Observation of that choice is

Raaay-ccciissss,

Not racist.

Now,

If I hear a westerner shout "this event was racism", I would believe him, because it takes guts and serious issue for a westerner to come out and say that.

Anyone who would deem the above text as racist, and there are many, is actually a racism advocate because this diminished meaning of racism is hurting the real victims of real racism, not the one who think every this and that behavior which does not please them is raaay-ccciissss. There are people out there who get attacked on the street, in the bars,  just because of their race, any race, by any race, and claiming every little event is raaay-ccciissss is trivializing their genuine suffering.


Addendum: Turns out the actual perp was a Finn, which still does not change what I wrote. Security is there to provide security, not to hang around as wallflowers in a highly explosive environment. And if the bouncers went for the black guy, there must be some statistic in their head after thousands of hours of experience... Just saying. 

@realmattforney shows who the real violence loving oppressors are

Since I try to keep writing about things that relate to Finland, I will tie this to a recent facebook chat I witnessed.

So, some nationalist group posted a paper on a tree, inviting neighbors to a meeting.

Of course this group is named as right wing extremist, but when you actually look at what they say, they just happen to be right of the center of the left.

So the communist community somehow has entered a discussion on

"Is it allowed to violently stop right wing fascist organizations from meeting, because when they meet and organize, they will use violence to stop people not thinking like them"

I went through the comments, but had to stop after five minutes, reading more of that filth would make me write stuff and non-violently do stuff that could potentially damage my work environment and once of my social circles.

So, back to @realmattofney;

A man who has an unconventional idea of a route to female happiness; looking at the amount of drugs consumed by the women no one can claim they are happy; by not feeding their ego, is branded the worst human on earth;

And his throat should be slit,
His balls should be cut off,
His head bashed,
Add any action to any body part...

And, traditional men are the violent ones, men going their own way are the violent ones, the right thinking men are the violet ones, the hetero men are the violent ones, etc?

Just like the commies in my facebook.

Using violence to stop a fringe group that wants a good life for their children and their relatives' children and their friends' children, that will not yet be accepted into normal society, with the media jacking up homemade crime while statistics are suppressed about other crime; is not fascism.

Forcing cities to work against their inhabitants, not fascism;
Distributing wealth, not fascism.. and so on.

I was at a point where I was losing belief that the Devil exists.

I was getting to a point of attaching all the evil to human nature.

But the facebook discussion, and the utter belief in the self righteousness of people tied to an ideology that has been responsible for most deaths in the history of mankind,

The @realmattforney discussion about chopping balls off a man who says do not kiss the ass of women,

Tells me

Satans Spawn are walking among us,
Satans Spawn are the establishment
Satans Spawn are to be fought

Their minions deserve no pity either.

A generation of men who have been tortured into two pieces

"I love my mother" he said

"I respect her" he said

"I respect all women like I respect her" he said.

"After I meet them, after some time,  then I take away the respect that they do not earn"  he said.

That is when the lightbulb flashed in my head.

For a time now I was thinking there is something off with this very good friend of mine.

Intelligent man, driven, ambitious, handsome, has status, knows how to behave, and is getting laid like a rabbit on steroids.

But something was off. Still is off.

There was a burning wound in his soul, which I could see but not describe. 

You see, one night, trouble arose on our bar table when two friends with latin fire burning in them, let loose their macho talk. This talk, loud and extreme for these lands of equality, raised a few eyebrows in neighboring tables, and TorturedTornMan got very angry because our talk on the table was not respecting women.

What was the talk?

About younger women being more attractive;
About strong and independent women being high risk for commitment;
About how good behavior of men is resulting in masturbation;
About how stwong and yndependent women are not able to bond;
etc...

TorturedTornMan got angry at this conversation, he said it demeaned women, he said he respected women, and that the conversation was not fitting.

That night, TorturedTornMan went to his booty call. Call at 4.45, booty at 5.00. Woman waking up to open the door to a wasted man. No problem there. It is an arrangement.

Next night, TorturedTornMan was behaving erratically. I yet do not know why that was.I assumed he was sober, I might have been wrong.

But the bleeding of a soul from being tortured into tearing in two parts came out that night.

After ingesting copious amounts of alcohol, the man who was angry at a conversation on the table that was a bit too much macho was letting out loose gems like,

"You scored or not?"
"Fuck these bitches"
"I don't give a shit about her"
"Who fucking cares about these bitches"

Loud. so loud in a way that i had to shut him up because his remarks nuked my interaction with the next table. And the next.

That night TorturedTornMan fucked a girl he met the previous night.

Drunken call, fifteen minutes of "Wehre are you" talk, meet at the bar, go home, fuck, pass out.

You see,

This man,

Has the status
Has the behavior
Has the look
Has the style
Has the money
And even if it does not sound like it,
Has a golden heart

But he is torn.

Like most men of my generation. This way or that way, torn.

Between what we are told, and
Between what we see.

I had not made the connection, until,

"I respect all women like I respect her"

..."I respect all women like I respect her"...

Let that sink in.

This man has been told all his life to respect women.

This man had great women in his life.

This man respects all women from the get go.

It is not

"I respect all women who deserve it,  like I respect her"  

It is not

"Women who prove worthy of it, I respect like I respect her"

It is

"I respect all women like I respect her"

Because he has been told

"Respect women", by a woman he loves and respects. He took that and believed in it, and out of respect, is trying to make it a reality.

I was also told "Respect women", but I was also not spared the stories of women behaving bad. there was balance. The balance was fortified by having great women, I want to shout while writing this, "GREAT WOMEN" in my larger family circle, genuinely strong women that I am honored to have met. I knew, there is this, there is that. Show respect, and show no remorse, depending on what is deserved, because there is more at stake than just one woman's feelings.

For him, there is no balance. 

For my generation, with all the media, there is no balance.

We are told to respect,
We are told to respect something that does not respect itself.

This man is torn because he respects all women from the get go, and then is rejected when he is nice, he is rejected when he is sober, he gets laid like a motherfucker when he is drunk, and cannot give two shits about the woman he is fucking.

Or - and thus cannot give two shits about the woman he is fucking.

He sees, he lives, that he is punished when he is good,
He sees, he lives, that he is rewarded with pussy raining from the sky when he is disrespectful.

He still claims he is nice, that is the blinds in front of his eyes. He is the perfect fit of the aloof, indifferent asshole, with the belief that he is acting out of respect. He is not. He would not be rewarded if he was acting with respect.

He sees what he is respecting by default, is without question, is without fail, acting in ways that does not respect itself, that does not reward anything which respects its existence;

Hell, sometimes he even sees that the reward is based solely on the condition that respect should be not existing, that disrespect is the main selection criteria for what to reward;

He sees men, who like him, respect women, and act in respectful ways, only to rot in a wishing loneliness,

So, he loses respect, every single time, because there is no respect deserved.

He is torn.

His soul is ripped apart.

Because his mother told him "Respect women"

But women's behavior inevitably make him lose respect. 

Instead of

"I am neutral towards women, and only give respect when they earn it"

He has,

"I respect women, and take it away if they don't deserve it"

No one has that much respect to give.

The fault is the Mom's.

She has been a great mom. She has been a great human. This has been her greatest mistake. In his eyes she cannot make a mistake, and she forgot to add the caveat of "If they deserve it" to "Respect women"

Unwittingly, she has sown the seeds of her son's destruction.

A gem of a man, one day will be an important man, saving lives, making lives better, a good man for a good woman one day, but torn.

I love this guy. He has enhanced my life in ways I will see in the future,  in ways I cannot count now,

And I will risk losing this friendship by going against what his mother has said.

Someone will have to put the seed of the condition of "if they deserve it" into his head.

If the price of that seed, if the price of the first healing of a wound that will otherwise never heal, is the loss of a friendship, I am willing to pay the price.

Moms out there,

Please know you are Goddesses for your sons,

Please know that the little boys take your words as the same as God's word,

Know that you have given life to the boy, but you can take his soul away, by the words you choose, by the actions you take, by the example you give.

More importantly, know that this is why you need to have a father figure for the boy. That might be the elephant.