Barhopping on a Friday, heavily boozed.. Tried five to six places..
Go to “The Club”, after receiving a tip.
Never again.
The place looks like:
P.Diddy video clip, with the brothas washed at 120 degrees, and then thrown into a bleaching pool,
Wearing their old clothes…, or shall I say, swimming in their old clothes,
Still trying to be pimp,
Still trying to be hip.
White bugs swimming in a black man’s clothing.
Sorry, have no time for that.
Ah, and I wonder, who started this trend of these basketballers sucking on a lollipop…
Almost two meters, around a hundred weight, and a fucking lollipop in the mouth…
Un-fucking-believable
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Thursday, March 17, 2005
I am da Turk
As you have read a shitload of times, being a Turk in Finnish nitelife is the worst thing you can be. A Turk is a monster, a rapist and any other description you can find to explain a psycho…
In the nitelife we don’t have many Turks though…
The kebab people, are not Turks anyway…
One is from Italy… Funny, that guy is from my town actually…
Another guy, also from my town, is Spanish…
Few others, including a stripper, used to be Italians…
I have not seen one kebab guy who is Turkish, when the night comes…
So, we pass them…
As for the academics…
One guy, who immigrated to Australia when he was a kid, does not even talk to the Turks, in fear his Aussie mask will fall off…
One guy who was born in France, rightfully calls himself French…
One guy from Turkish town Istanbul, has a hobby of going international, he has tried being english, german, north and south cyprus, norway, greek… And I have to add, its funny to see how many women fall for this….
Left are two guys who determinedly go for being Turkish.
One is me..
And one is a guy with “boyish charms”
That leaves me, to account for the bad image of the Turks in town..
Being the only one known to be Turk, even though half blood,
And considering the image Turks have,
I must be a motherfucking badass….
........Of the worst kind…
P.S.: I have to add, I do not favor these kind of acts, as in the long term they destroy my reputation, as I happen to know guys having this kind of behavior. But still funny how the same guy gets turned down when being Turkish, and then gets laid when not. The same guy, the same act.
In the nitelife we don’t have many Turks though…
The kebab people, are not Turks anyway…
One is from Italy… Funny, that guy is from my town actually…
Another guy, also from my town, is Spanish…
Few others, including a stripper, used to be Italians…
I have not seen one kebab guy who is Turkish, when the night comes…
So, we pass them…
As for the academics…
One guy, who immigrated to Australia when he was a kid, does not even talk to the Turks, in fear his Aussie mask will fall off…
One guy who was born in France, rightfully calls himself French…
One guy from Turkish town Istanbul, has a hobby of going international, he has tried being english, german, north and south cyprus, norway, greek… And I have to add, its funny to see how many women fall for this….
Left are two guys who determinedly go for being Turkish.
One is me..
And one is a guy with “boyish charms”
That leaves me, to account for the bad image of the Turks in town..
Being the only one known to be Turk, even though half blood,
And considering the image Turks have,
I must be a motherfucking badass….
........Of the worst kind…
P.S.: I have to add, I do not favor these kind of acts, as in the long term they destroy my reputation, as I happen to know guys having this kind of behavior. But still funny how the same guy gets turned down when being Turkish, and then gets laid when not. The same guy, the same act.
Nationality gets you laid
French talking to a girl, friend comes in...
Girl leaves the french, goes to the friend,
“I like your french friend, but you are Austrian (country changed), I had two Austrian boyfriends, that is why I will go with you”
Funny...
The austrian,
Is actually a Turk.
She fucked the wrong country.
Or got fucked by…
MUHAHAHAHA
Girl leaves the french, goes to the friend,
“I like your french friend, but you are Austrian (country changed), I had two Austrian boyfriends, that is why I will go with you”
Funny...
The austrian,
Is actually a Turk.
She fucked the wrong country.
Or got fucked by…
MUHAHAHAHA
As if I care....
Four guys in Doris, one active flirting with some chick...
Three guys chatting with eachother.
After a night chatting with these three friends in Doris, total guy’s night out…,
(nobody of interest in the bar)
We leave the bar, eat something, go home…
I watch a movie, and sleep around five am…
At exactly six thirty, a message comes.
Everybody knows not to call me in the morning, so a message must be important.
I jump off the bed, heart racing at two hundred, open the phone, and see the sender:
“Guy flirting with the girl”
So I press, “Read”:
“Hehe.. Mission accomplished”
At six thirty. With almost an hour of sleep, I could have shot the bastard.
What the fuck do I care, where you put your dick into.
HA???
Three guys chatting with eachother.
After a night chatting with these three friends in Doris, total guy’s night out…,
(nobody of interest in the bar)
We leave the bar, eat something, go home…
I watch a movie, and sleep around five am…
At exactly six thirty, a message comes.
Everybody knows not to call me in the morning, so a message must be important.
I jump off the bed, heart racing at two hundred, open the phone, and see the sender:
“Guy flirting with the girl”
So I press, “Read”:
“Hehe.. Mission accomplished”
At six thirty. With almost an hour of sleep, I could have shot the bastard.
What the fuck do I care, where you put your dick into.
HA???
Right seeker, wrong heat source...
Three months or so ago,
Am in Doris, and chatting with some people I know, and checking this chick out.
Meanwhile, sms’ing with the lady nobody in the bar can take place of.
So, it turns out I will leave in a few minutes,
Go to the two guys who stand there by the bar, trying to look cool, checking the same girl out as I am…
“Hey, look, I am going to talk to the girl, if you won’t make your move now”
“If you go now, you have no chance.. Her pussy is wet for me”
“Go, or I will go, enter, get number and exit”
“If you go now, you will destroy our image”
“Are you going or not?”
“She’s checking me out, I ask you not to go”
I am in a hurry,
So I leave the bar.
Next time I see the guys,
“So, you kindly asked me not to talk to her. Did you at least make a move?”
“After you left, she left”
“aaaaaaa--- haaaaaaaaa”
Am in Doris, and chatting with some people I know, and checking this chick out.
Meanwhile, sms’ing with the lady nobody in the bar can take place of.
So, it turns out I will leave in a few minutes,
Go to the two guys who stand there by the bar, trying to look cool, checking the same girl out as I am…
“Hey, look, I am going to talk to the girl, if you won’t make your move now”
“If you go now, you have no chance.. Her pussy is wet for me”
“Go, or I will go, enter, get number and exit”
“If you go now, you will destroy our image”
“Are you going or not?”
“She’s checking me out, I ask you not to go”
I am in a hurry,
So I leave the bar.
Next time I see the guys,
“So, you kindly asked me not to talk to her. Did you at least make a move?”
“After you left, she left”
“aaaaaaa--- haaaaaaaaa”
Condophobia
Many guys will agree with me that they dislike condoms, but we gotta use them…
Many guys will agree that women actually await some kind of performance…
Many guys will agree that alcohol is not good for a good shag…
Many guys will agree that six a.m. –without sleep- is not a good time for a hump…
What would you say to this:
A girl, at every second push asking:
“Is the condom on?”
Dup dup
“Is the condom on?”
Dup dup
“Is the condom on?”
Dup dup
(“Shut the fuck up”)
Many guys will agree that women actually await some kind of performance…
Many guys will agree that alcohol is not good for a good shag…
Many guys will agree that six a.m. –without sleep- is not a good time for a hump…
What would you say to this:
A girl, at every second push asking:
“Is the condom on?”
Dup dup
“Is the condom on?”
Dup dup
“Is the condom on?”
Dup dup
(“Shut the fuck up”)
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Poor Finnish men
After playing four hours scrabble, I ended up in this student party.
Enter the bar, and it feels like any other bar on the south coast of Turkey.
Shitload of dark haired men, with a few blondes in between,
Shitload of blond women, with a few darks in between..
That night I did not do any approaches, the atmosphere was so damn funny, I spent all night observing.
If we had acted like that to the girls, when in highschool, we would be dismissed on the spot, for being too available and slimy… And, that with less than seventeen years of age…
Looking at the faces on these loverboys dancing with the cute young “innocent” female finns… The picture opened up,
Add extreme slimyness to that, what you get is,
....
....
this:
....
....
I believe, people do what is most profitable.. So, acting like that is most profitable for these guys.
And you should have seen the finnish women, in love, even for one night, with these loverboys… And the boys, happy faced like they found some treasure… Actually I could see a guy’s tongue hanging to his right side.. No, my right side, so his left, on the dancefloor. An act which condones death sentence for any other nation including finnish guys themselves, in finnish nightlife. Not for those guys… I was laughing all night…
But then, spanish provide good sex.. – It's said. They may.. I don't care.
At the end of the night even though I was still smiling, I felt pity.. Felt sorry…
For the Finnish male.
Feeling, if I were a Finnish guy, I would be so pissed off with my country’s women, for drooling over these guys, for the love to the behaviour that would, if I were to behave in such a way, have marked me as hopelessly desperate forever, in the same women’s eyes…
When I woke up in the morning, I still had the smile in my face. Was laughing while brushing my teeth...
Ah, one more thing…
It’s all in the image.
Enter the bar, and it feels like any other bar on the south coast of Turkey.
Shitload of dark haired men, with a few blondes in between,
Shitload of blond women, with a few darks in between..
That night I did not do any approaches, the atmosphere was so damn funny, I spent all night observing.
If we had acted like that to the girls, when in highschool, we would be dismissed on the spot, for being too available and slimy… And, that with less than seventeen years of age…
Looking at the faces on these loverboys dancing with the cute young “innocent” female finns… The picture opened up,
Add extreme slimyness to that, what you get is,
....
....
this:
....
....
I believe, people do what is most profitable.. So, acting like that is most profitable for these guys.
And you should have seen the finnish women, in love, even for one night, with these loverboys… And the boys, happy faced like they found some treasure… Actually I could see a guy’s tongue hanging to his right side.. No, my right side, so his left, on the dancefloor. An act which condones death sentence for any other nation including finnish guys themselves, in finnish nightlife. Not for those guys… I was laughing all night…
But then, spanish provide good sex.. – It's said. They may.. I don't care.
At the end of the night even though I was still smiling, I felt pity.. Felt sorry…
For the Finnish male.
Feeling, if I were a Finnish guy, I would be so pissed off with my country’s women, for drooling over these guys, for the love to the behaviour that would, if I were to behave in such a way, have marked me as hopelessly desperate forever, in the same women’s eyes…
When I woke up in the morning, I still had the smile in my face. Was laughing while brushing my teeth...
Ah, one more thing…
It’s all in the image.
Wherever I stand, whatever I do...
She comments:
“Yes I am in the back.. I do not need to be in the front, and watch myself in the mirror all the time…. Like you”
To a guy who generally takes no longer that ten minutes to get ready for a Saturday nite.
Yes, I am in the front. I like to be in the front. The mirror in the front is just a bonus.
I don’t like to be in the back. Besides being claustrophobic and bad aired, It feels like I am there because of the few beautiful butts in front of me. A feeling which proved itself.
I was in the back once. I had this butt in front of me.. Ten centimeters from my face. Going up, going down, squeezing the butt, expanding the butt… And it was one hell of a butt… When I was watching it, I could not follow the instructor, forget following the music… My heart was beating in harmony with the butt.. Up.. down.. up.. down.. up.. dup… dup…dup… dup… When I was trying not to watch it – imagine trying to turn your head by ninety degrees, doing deadlifts – my neck was killing me.. Wow.. that was some butt… Yea… And the training sucked while giving me injury.
So, I choose training over sexual excitement, and moved to the front…
If I had not, I can imagine, ....
If I were in the back, she would have said,
“See I am in the middle… I do not need to be in the back… and watch women’s butts all the time… LIKE YOU”
“Yes I am in the back.. I do not need to be in the front, and watch myself in the mirror all the time…. Like you”
To a guy who generally takes no longer that ten minutes to get ready for a Saturday nite.
Yes, I am in the front. I like to be in the front. The mirror in the front is just a bonus.
I don’t like to be in the back. Besides being claustrophobic and bad aired, It feels like I am there because of the few beautiful butts in front of me. A feeling which proved itself.
I was in the back once. I had this butt in front of me.. Ten centimeters from my face. Going up, going down, squeezing the butt, expanding the butt… And it was one hell of a butt… When I was watching it, I could not follow the instructor, forget following the music… My heart was beating in harmony with the butt.. Up.. down.. up.. down.. up.. dup… dup…dup… dup… When I was trying not to watch it – imagine trying to turn your head by ninety degrees, doing deadlifts – my neck was killing me.. Wow.. that was some butt… Yea… And the training sucked while giving me injury.
So, I choose training over sexual excitement, and moved to the front…
If I had not, I can imagine, ....
If I were in the back, she would have said,
“See I am in the middle… I do not need to be in the back… and watch women’s butts all the time… LIKE YOU”
How could I forget that???
I turn around to scan the place for possible prey…
“Hey, It’s youuuu” a girl shouts…
I had no idea where I knew her from, though I knew I met her somewhere…
Later that night I go up to her, and ask where I know her from…
“Bebop”… BOOOOOM… Light bulbs flash…
I could not remember one of the two girls.. Three of us on the stage, the two being the most bitchy and most sexy girls in the bar, giving me an almost private lesbian show, at a distance where I could hear the kissing…
How in world did I manage to forget?
“Hey, It’s youuuu” a girl shouts…
I had no idea where I knew her from, though I knew I met her somewhere…
Later that night I go up to her, and ask where I know her from…
“Bebop”… BOOOOOM… Light bulbs flash…
I could not remember one of the two girls.. Three of us on the stage, the two being the most bitchy and most sexy girls in the bar, giving me an almost private lesbian show, at a distance where I could hear the kissing…
How in world did I manage to forget?
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