Sunday, August 22, 2010

The Love Boat of the Baltic - I pity the husbands

Coincidentially, it is Valentine's Day...

The day of love, affection etc...

More correctly the day of men doing stuff for their women, 'cause if they don't, there'll be trouble.

Same night, two incidents.

I was wasted, effed up beyond any recognition, in my standards. Have not drank so much in four years, and this would've been in the top 10 of my drunken nights. Finlandia 50% Vodka meets Valentine.

One. There she was talking to me, a short busty blondie. Have no clue what the topic was, but at some point she grabs my manly hairy well built hard chest and goes "Ooooh"

To which I reply, "Yeah" (perfect example of drunk communication)

She squeezes this firm chest of mine and sa's "pectoralis major"

So I say, "pectoralis minor" and grab her breast, to which she slaps my hand, with a lok that says she is not joking.

I'm like "What the fuck?"

She says "I am married"

While I am thinking, "bitch, eff off, go grab your husband's..." I notice a hand fumbling with my package, the balls and the sausage... Her hand.

I pity the husband.

Two. Same night, still drunk of course.

I see two of my friends chatting with two blonds. There was this one guy hovering above them, and it was clear at any given time, a cockblock could occur.

I go in like a hawk hunting rabbits, grab the guy, "Whazzup ma' man...", and gently swoop him away from the table...

After the bastard asks me to buy him a drink and I decline, then he says "I want to go back to my wife"... I start smiling. I had swooped the hubby of his feet.

So I take him back to the blonds, to which the better looking one says

"He is my husband"

"Yep, and I brought him back"

She looks at the husband, then looks at me. Her eyes were saying "gimme five minutes, I'll hump you dry". Sad actually. And funny, as that look was not give to any of the guys hitting on her. I was the fourth guy in the equation, and the most uninterested one.

Then her mouth says, lips slightly apart "You are a delight", while the hubby was standing there drink in hand, shaking like a leaf in the wind.

Pity the husband. Pity the wife? Näää...

If my observations are correct, this second wife, who was in the cabin next to mine, did find someone to blow, or get shagged by, and I am betting on two different guys in two nights.

"Good morning husband, give me a wake up kiss......"

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