One year ago, am in Cafe Europa, a saturday evening.. Quite empty...
Meet this Turkish guy I know, working in a Kebab place, and he asks me about *****, a girl I am seeing those days.. Seemingly she is his exgirlfriend’s good friend, and so he knew her..
I see this one girl, she was there with a boy, seemingly on date with him, and another couple, drinking..
The boy gets her a drink..
The boy gets a kiss...
Now a french kiss...
I tell the guy I am talking to, that I like that girls style, even though she is not beautiful, she is sexy..
He tells me that she comes to the coffeehouse that the Turks go to play cards... All the guys including him, have tried her, but got shot down...
She is dancing...
Leaves to the toilet...
On the way,...
She stops by the black guy leaning to the wall, near the entrance to the restrooms.. They have a chat for fifteen seconds, the girl goes to the toilet..
The guy follows fifteen seconds later...
Tic tac...
Tic tac...
Women come and go from the toilet, but this girl is nowhere to be seen..
Oh, and there is a queue in front of the men’s toilet...
The finnish guy, the girls’ kisser is flipping out, shouting around, only to be calmed dawn by the other girl... During that time, he swallows two or three beers... No help...
Fifteen minutes...
The black guy appears, leans back on the wall..
The girl appears, gets her coat and leaves the bar.
And I have this beautiful smile on my face, a smile that exists on my friend’s face in the same time..
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Double edged ethics
Interesting that I, not the most ethical, politically correct man will write another ethics texts...
Yes people, be good, and live a kind life. Care for others and make them happy...
Bullshit..
Shut up.
Hehe....
Readers of this site will know about the questions I get about how many wives I have, why I left my girlfriend at home, etc etc...
Or comments like, I am lying, I am not single etc....
It is expected, that I do not hurt women?
I do not cheat on my girlfriend(s) whatever...
If am married, do not go out...
Cry if a girl breaks up with me..
Cry if I break up with a girl...
Not even cry, because I do not break up...
Take women as they are, psychedelic freaks :)
If I do one small thing not approved by the society, not that I care much, get the banner : asshole glued on me....
For example lets say I hit on a girl, I slept with, hit on, or have been hit on by,
The girl I am currently interested in, freaks out, tells me she can’t do anything with me.. Etc etc.....
Fine.
But then,
If it is such an important fact if I have girlfriend that I am cheating on or not, and if I am, and that is the worst thing I can do,
Can somebody tell me why there are so many men carrying fake wedding rings, to get laid easier?
I wonder.
Yes people, be good, and live a kind life. Care for others and make them happy...
Bullshit..
Shut up.
Hehe....
Readers of this site will know about the questions I get about how many wives I have, why I left my girlfriend at home, etc etc...
Or comments like, I am lying, I am not single etc....
It is expected, that I do not hurt women?
I do not cheat on my girlfriend(s) whatever...
If am married, do not go out...
Cry if a girl breaks up with me..
Cry if I break up with a girl...
Not even cry, because I do not break up...
Take women as they are, psychedelic freaks :)
If I do one small thing not approved by the society, not that I care much, get the banner : asshole glued on me....
For example lets say I hit on a girl, I slept with, hit on, or have been hit on by,
The girl I am currently interested in, freaks out, tells me she can’t do anything with me.. Etc etc.....
Fine.
But then,
If it is such an important fact if I have girlfriend that I am cheating on or not, and if I am, and that is the worst thing I can do,
Can somebody tell me why there are so many men carrying fake wedding rings, to get laid easier?
I wonder.
Why women have difficult time being happy
This is no deep text...
------- If there’s someone calling my texts shallow and uninteresting, please go to the sauna and stick that handle of the water thrower up ur ass...
Anyway,
Women...
Women think too much...
They do not think about the world...
Seems like they live their life in a way to make it harder....
When writing the ethics text, remembered this..
Must’ve written about them couple of times,
Meet the short blonde more than three years ago, she pulled that good girl shit on me, I bought it... Nothing happened except me getting blue balls too many times,
We stopped seeing each other..
One day I see her, two years ago, she tells me that she has cheated on her boyfriend, and she is a bad girl now...
I go whatever,
Later that day I started flirting with her friend, the tall blonde...
First one goes crazy,
Starts a fight with her friend, cries in my car telling me how could I’ve done it, she loves me...
Nooooo, it wasn’t me who had the blueballs, who had called to be flaked on couple times, I wasn’t the one who got the good girl play, while some other dude enjoyed the bad girl...
So, the second one, after two three dates with me, stops saying hi...
Fine.
A month ago,
Three years after those incidents,
A girl comes up to me in a bar,
“Finndistan”
“Yea, who are you?” – This is becoming quite a classic incident these days...
She says she is friends with the two blondes,
I remark that it is nice for her to come, and ask about her friends...
She actually turns out to be a nice chat,
And just because she is the best friend of the two, I pull an ultra tease on her, enjoying myself like hell...
I sense an attention ho psychology behind her moves, so basically am not planning to give her the kiss she longs for, even though her lips are less than a finger away from mine...
Entertainment.. turning the game around, fun :)
One and a half hour through the tease, she tells me something like she will not do anything with me tonite – as if I am the one craving for the kiss – because of her friends, her friends, who are still talking about me, after three years... Talking about me in a way that makes this lady want me so bad, but makes herself stop for the sake of her friends.... Or makes her stop after being teased on for so long...
I wonder why those two, instead of having mutual fun, and happiness (whoaaaaa.. that is corny...) chose to give me blueballs...
------- If there’s someone calling my texts shallow and uninteresting, please go to the sauna and stick that handle of the water thrower up ur ass...
Anyway,
Women...
Women think too much...
They do not think about the world...
Seems like they live their life in a way to make it harder....
When writing the ethics text, remembered this..
Must’ve written about them couple of times,
Meet the short blonde more than three years ago, she pulled that good girl shit on me, I bought it... Nothing happened except me getting blue balls too many times,
We stopped seeing each other..
One day I see her, two years ago, she tells me that she has cheated on her boyfriend, and she is a bad girl now...
I go whatever,
Later that day I started flirting with her friend, the tall blonde...
First one goes crazy,
Starts a fight with her friend, cries in my car telling me how could I’ve done it, she loves me...
Nooooo, it wasn’t me who had the blueballs, who had called to be flaked on couple times, I wasn’t the one who got the good girl play, while some other dude enjoyed the bad girl...
So, the second one, after two three dates with me, stops saying hi...
Fine.
A month ago,
Three years after those incidents,
A girl comes up to me in a bar,
“Finndistan”
“Yea, who are you?” – This is becoming quite a classic incident these days...
She says she is friends with the two blondes,
I remark that it is nice for her to come, and ask about her friends...
She actually turns out to be a nice chat,
And just because she is the best friend of the two, I pull an ultra tease on her, enjoying myself like hell...
I sense an attention ho psychology behind her moves, so basically am not planning to give her the kiss she longs for, even though her lips are less than a finger away from mine...
Entertainment.. turning the game around, fun :)
One and a half hour through the tease, she tells me something like she will not do anything with me tonite – as if I am the one craving for the kiss – because of her friends, her friends, who are still talking about me, after three years... Talking about me in a way that makes this lady want me so bad, but makes herself stop for the sake of her friends.... Or makes her stop after being teased on for so long...
I wonder why those two, instead of having mutual fun, and happiness (whoaaaaa.. that is corny...) chose to give me blueballs...
A link to a good friend, and the best compliment I ever got
Here is a link to a friend’s webpage,
Actually also a quite famous website around these places,
www.sebastyne.net
And after a nite which we met in a bar, had a short convo,
Just had the notion of seeing what new diamonds she has written in her page – as some things there have changed my perception of my surroundings,
I see me.
Me in a text.
Read it.
Go back to that night,
A smile on my face,
Read it,
Get goose bumps,
Read it again,
Get my eyes full...
Think to myself, this girl has talent,
Feel good.
And realize, I’ve never gotten a better compliment...
Not from my friends, not from my love(s),
Not from strangers,
Not from passengers in my life....
Greetings to you Sebastyne!!!
Added on 04.04.2005
Later on she wrote one of the hardest critics in my life. She had all the right to.
Actually also a quite famous website around these places,
www.sebastyne.net
And after a nite which we met in a bar, had a short convo,
Just had the notion of seeing what new diamonds she has written in her page – as some things there have changed my perception of my surroundings,
I see me.
Me in a text.
Read it.
Go back to that night,
A smile on my face,
Read it,
Get goose bumps,
Read it again,
Get my eyes full...
Think to myself, this girl has talent,
Feel good.
And realize, I’ve never gotten a better compliment...
Not from my friends, not from my love(s),
Not from strangers,
Not from passengers in my life....
Greetings to you Sebastyne!!!
Added on 04.04.2005
Later on she wrote one of the hardest critics in my life. She had all the right to.
Stupidity in mass scale and sexual harassment
Let us take Turkey for example,
Man woman,
There is eye contact...
The girl looks away, the guy waits for a few seconds, his heart beating, then turns...
In less then a minute, eye contact is reestablished...
The girl looks away, looking down first...
Heart races...
Not even another heartbeat away, the eyes meet, and a slight nod, or even better, a slight smile appears in between...
If the guy is bold, he will have a direct approach, and initiate conversation...
If not, he will wait for a good time.
Eye contact.
Done flirtauously...
Why am I writing this?
The coming event is based solely on eye contact.
And stupidity.
So why do I write about eye contact and not stupidity?
Stupidity exists everywhere, eye contact does not exist in a flirtuous way in Finland.
The story starts on a nite in Panama...
Having such a good time.... Friends all around, met some Kosovan girls, ultra bitchy, but fun, speaking Turkish all the time, I am in good mood, had three coffees, together with baileys.. * lick my lips again*, the friends around me are in a good mood, the bar does actually not exist.. At least not too much...
My head jolts up in laughter, some bastard just exploded a joke, on my way down, I see her staring at me from the distance I could actually spit across... Of course no eye holding.. The moment she sees I see her, head flies in a hundred and eighty degrees turn,
I thought her neck is broken now..
Back to friends...
Ah, they are going sitting,
Join later,
On the table there is this girl, possibly one of the most beautiful in the bar, and turns out to be a lot of fun to talk to, besides being a friends’ ex....
Later, join my friends on the dancefloor, two hotties, four guys, and me..
A-ha, .......... there she is, staring again.. Catches my attention, evaluate her – a lie, at the third second of seeing her, I knew I would lay her, risen the opportunity...
Somewhere she passes me by I hold eyes, and tell her to stop, she smiles, continues her way...
Back to business :)
This time, I am dancing with the ex, there she is, staring again....
Somewhere she passes me by I hold eyes, and tell her to stop, she smiles, continues her way...
Talking to a good friend nearby the stage, getting life lessons, she is staring...
On a bet, talk to the cute Russian down there, she is staring...
Somewhere she passes me by I hold eyes, and tell her to stop, she smiles, continues her way...- After saying “Never”, and me shrugging my shoulders, WTF... I think...
Later on,
She literally sexually harasses me by her looks.. I am not saying looking in a nice/bad way.. Simply staring like a stupid cow watches the train pass by...
-------------------
So there she is again, some weeks later...
Lady staring again,
Me, in good mood, indifferent to the outcome, go up to her,
Oh, what do we have?
A why the fuck is he here look.
So what?
“About a month ago, a girl harassed me in Panama, with her stare, wonder if it was you”
“No”
“No?”
“No”
“You have not been there?”
“No”
“What, you are underage?”
“Yes. I am nineteen.”
“Is it seventeen plus fake id nineteen, or twenty one too old nineteen?”
“Nineteen....”
“Hmmm... so I am mistaken. Can happen”
And she has this get the fuck away look in her face, still, and still I do not care...
Her friend says hi to her, .......... I know her...
So we start talking, I tell of the event, and she goes:
“Yes, that is her.”
“You sure?” I ask,
"Yes I am.”
“She said she does not go to Panama”
“Oh he does”
“So how old is she?”
“twenty two” – the bitch lied.
“a-ha... liar.... :) “
Some convo about her, and her friend, and the event, telling me she does know about the story, even before I told it...
“she does that sometimes..”
“I see...”.. “I do not like that”
“Sorry”
Anyway, so when I turn back to the bitch to tell a couple of words, she turns around as if disrespectfully dismissing some poor chump trying to hit on her.. While I had no intention of that.. Not worth my dick, such stupidity...
Anyway that kind of rejection shows how much of a lowlife low confident creatures some of the women out there are just in the need of feeding their egos, not knowing what they want, no goals in life, no ideas about who they are or who they are talking to.. MTV generation, not having watched movies like the last Mohican, not even able to tell the guy, “Sorry, am not interested.” Not even confidence, nor humanity as such. No need to spend my time on you, or your likes.
Wish guys out there would think and behave that way, life would be more fun for us, and for those poor wretched creatures.
I may have written hard stuff there, but as little as it happens to me, I still see some women walking over guys they would dream of being with, just for the sake of feeding the hunger for their self importance... Who the fuck are you?
If you stupid women out there do not like it that guys look at you, so fucking stop staring at me and then acting like you are the queen when I get curious and come up to you. There is no free food for your lowlife egos distributed by me.
Act like mature women – mature meaning over twenty, not like underdeveloped cows in the girl shape with nice breasts...
Soon I will start calling breasts the brains, as sometimes there exists nothing in the area where it should...
At least I know where my brains lie,
Honest as few men are,
Between my legs...
Hmmm...
Now I feel relaxed, yeaaa....
Man woman,
There is eye contact...
The girl looks away, the guy waits for a few seconds, his heart beating, then turns...
In less then a minute, eye contact is reestablished...
The girl looks away, looking down first...
Heart races...
Not even another heartbeat away, the eyes meet, and a slight nod, or even better, a slight smile appears in between...
If the guy is bold, he will have a direct approach, and initiate conversation...
If not, he will wait for a good time.
Eye contact.
Done flirtauously...
Why am I writing this?
The coming event is based solely on eye contact.
And stupidity.
So why do I write about eye contact and not stupidity?
Stupidity exists everywhere, eye contact does not exist in a flirtuous way in Finland.
The story starts on a nite in Panama...
Having such a good time.... Friends all around, met some Kosovan girls, ultra bitchy, but fun, speaking Turkish all the time, I am in good mood, had three coffees, together with baileys.. * lick my lips again*, the friends around me are in a good mood, the bar does actually not exist.. At least not too much...
My head jolts up in laughter, some bastard just exploded a joke, on my way down, I see her staring at me from the distance I could actually spit across... Of course no eye holding.. The moment she sees I see her, head flies in a hundred and eighty degrees turn,
I thought her neck is broken now..
Back to friends...
Ah, they are going sitting,
Join later,
On the table there is this girl, possibly one of the most beautiful in the bar, and turns out to be a lot of fun to talk to, besides being a friends’ ex....
Later, join my friends on the dancefloor, two hotties, four guys, and me..
A-ha, .......... there she is, staring again.. Catches my attention, evaluate her – a lie, at the third second of seeing her, I knew I would lay her, risen the opportunity...
Somewhere she passes me by I hold eyes, and tell her to stop, she smiles, continues her way...
Back to business :)
This time, I am dancing with the ex, there she is, staring again....
Somewhere she passes me by I hold eyes, and tell her to stop, she smiles, continues her way...
Talking to a good friend nearby the stage, getting life lessons, she is staring...
On a bet, talk to the cute Russian down there, she is staring...
Somewhere she passes me by I hold eyes, and tell her to stop, she smiles, continues her way...- After saying “Never”, and me shrugging my shoulders, WTF... I think...
Later on,
She literally sexually harasses me by her looks.. I am not saying looking in a nice/bad way.. Simply staring like a stupid cow watches the train pass by...
-------------------
So there she is again, some weeks later...
Lady staring again,
Me, in good mood, indifferent to the outcome, go up to her,
Oh, what do we have?
A why the fuck is he here look.
So what?
“About a month ago, a girl harassed me in Panama, with her stare, wonder if it was you”
“No”
“No?”
“No”
“You have not been there?”
“No”
“What, you are underage?”
“Yes. I am nineteen.”
“Is it seventeen plus fake id nineteen, or twenty one too old nineteen?”
“Nineteen....”
“Hmmm... so I am mistaken. Can happen”
And she has this get the fuck away look in her face, still, and still I do not care...
Her friend says hi to her, .......... I know her...
So we start talking, I tell of the event, and she goes:
“Yes, that is her.”
“You sure?” I ask,
"Yes I am.”
“She said she does not go to Panama”
“Oh he does”
“So how old is she?”
“twenty two” – the bitch lied.
“a-ha... liar.... :) “
Some convo about her, and her friend, and the event, telling me she does know about the story, even before I told it...
“she does that sometimes..”
“I see...”.. “I do not like that”
“Sorry”
Anyway, so when I turn back to the bitch to tell a couple of words, she turns around as if disrespectfully dismissing some poor chump trying to hit on her.. While I had no intention of that.. Not worth my dick, such stupidity...
Anyway that kind of rejection shows how much of a lowlife low confident creatures some of the women out there are just in the need of feeding their egos, not knowing what they want, no goals in life, no ideas about who they are or who they are talking to.. MTV generation, not having watched movies like the last Mohican, not even able to tell the guy, “Sorry, am not interested.” Not even confidence, nor humanity as such. No need to spend my time on you, or your likes.
Wish guys out there would think and behave that way, life would be more fun for us, and for those poor wretched creatures.
I may have written hard stuff there, but as little as it happens to me, I still see some women walking over guys they would dream of being with, just for the sake of feeding the hunger for their self importance... Who the fuck are you?
If you stupid women out there do not like it that guys look at you, so fucking stop staring at me and then acting like you are the queen when I get curious and come up to you. There is no free food for your lowlife egos distributed by me.
Act like mature women – mature meaning over twenty, not like underdeveloped cows in the girl shape with nice breasts...
Soon I will start calling breasts the brains, as sometimes there exists nothing in the area where it should...
At least I know where my brains lie,
Honest as few men are,
Between my legs...
Hmmm...
Now I feel relaxed, yeaaa....
Time passes by, taking us with it
On Monday, sitting in front of the pc,
Just am about to leave...
Thinking why the world is still shaking,
Apparently having forgotten I was on a cruise that weekend,
Wonder why the world seemingly floats around all the time...
MSN Pops up:
You have received mail from xxxx
Who the hell is that?
I read the first sentence,
Telling my license plate in Turkey, and using the words which tell me the story will be from Ankara, a night where I had to talk with the guard at the university gate...
Then I read,
11 March 1998...
Now I know this is going to be heavy...
This will end in a fight between me and my past..
I need to leave..
Curiosity prevails..
Press the print button,
On the way to the car, read the rest...
Remember an event six years ago...
A girl keeping shy about a guy she wants to meet..
A guy, not having the guts to talk to an interesting girl more than asking a question...
Two people leaving into the night’s darkness.. Maybe not to see each other again...
They meet...
May...
Ankara...
Warm...
Spring...
Mayfest...
Concerts..
Open air,
Tshirts..
Young...
Innocent,
Shy...
Fun..
From what I understand, we meet in a cafe...
Possibly CafeMiz in Arjantin,
Not sure...
Not sure, but this event triggers me..
And the fire spreads...
The fire makes me realize..
That I just know that,
Time passed by, and so many people have been left undiscovered,
so many lives unnoticed,
so many friendships unstarted,
so many loves left untouched...
so many kisses unkissed..
so many hearts broken...
so many suns unrisen...
so many rivers dried..
so many feelings unborn...
so many fears unscared...
so many stories not experienced..
so many joys skipped..
so many laughters forgotten...
so many I love you's unsaid..
so many hugs undone...
so many tears unshed...
Six years later, when she writes that text, she does not know she put the dagger into my heart, into my soul...
I will not see her again, nor can I remember the face,
But the time, I felt; the feeling I had stay with me...
Friends all over the world, Faroes, Pakistan, Portugal, States, England, Denmark, Germany, Sudan, Cyprus.... All have a place in my heart... this mail made me realized how much I miss them, the times we sat and had fun... The times we did not have fun... The good, the bad... Anytime we had...
Spring may ninety eight.
Six years ago...
I am single...
Pass by an opportunity to meet someone interesting...
Someone who can write such a beautiful mail...
Six years ago, when my brother was seven, and I am again away from home...
Six years ago, when my friends were young, unmarried, not parents...
Six years ago, when I was driving in ODTU’s campus listening to 110th street, windows open, smelling the forest....
Six years ago, when I broke a heart...
And I read the mail...
Opened the door to the car..
Turned the ignition...
Eyes full, tuned in City Radio,
Heard Alice Cooper singing Poison...
Running through your veins...
Do not remember when I drove to the city... Came to myself when the garage button had to be pressed...
And,
Now I will sit down to write a mail...
No idea what to write...
Just am thinking, what if... what if??
Reason is I remember the gate incident, remember I was frigging excited...
I know I missed something...
That something triggers others...
And the chain breaks...
Time does not come back...
Old friends are out there somewhere,
To people I never met, want to say I wish I did,
To friends I did not meet for a long time,
I MISS YOU ALL!!
IT HURTS!!!
Just am about to leave...
Thinking why the world is still shaking,
Apparently having forgotten I was on a cruise that weekend,
Wonder why the world seemingly floats around all the time...
MSN Pops up:
You have received mail from xxxx
Who the hell is that?
I read the first sentence,
Telling my license plate in Turkey, and using the words which tell me the story will be from Ankara, a night where I had to talk with the guard at the university gate...
Then I read,
11 March 1998...
Now I know this is going to be heavy...
This will end in a fight between me and my past..
I need to leave..
Curiosity prevails..
Press the print button,
On the way to the car, read the rest...
Remember an event six years ago...
A girl keeping shy about a guy she wants to meet..
A guy, not having the guts to talk to an interesting girl more than asking a question...
Two people leaving into the night’s darkness.. Maybe not to see each other again...
They meet...
May...
Ankara...
Warm...
Spring...
Mayfest...
Concerts..
Open air,
Tshirts..
Young...
Innocent,
Shy...
Fun..
From what I understand, we meet in a cafe...
Possibly CafeMiz in Arjantin,
Not sure...
Not sure, but this event triggers me..
And the fire spreads...
The fire makes me realize..
That I just know that,
Time passed by, and so many people have been left undiscovered,
so many lives unnoticed,
so many friendships unstarted,
so many loves left untouched...
so many kisses unkissed..
so many hearts broken...
so many suns unrisen...
so many rivers dried..
so many feelings unborn...
so many fears unscared...
so many stories not experienced..
so many joys skipped..
so many laughters forgotten...
so many I love you's unsaid..
so many hugs undone...
so many tears unshed...
Six years later, when she writes that text, she does not know she put the dagger into my heart, into my soul...
I will not see her again, nor can I remember the face,
But the time, I felt; the feeling I had stay with me...
Friends all over the world, Faroes, Pakistan, Portugal, States, England, Denmark, Germany, Sudan, Cyprus.... All have a place in my heart... this mail made me realized how much I miss them, the times we sat and had fun... The times we did not have fun... The good, the bad... Anytime we had...
Spring may ninety eight.
Six years ago...
I am single...
Pass by an opportunity to meet someone interesting...
Someone who can write such a beautiful mail...
Six years ago, when my brother was seven, and I am again away from home...
Six years ago, when my friends were young, unmarried, not parents...
Six years ago, when I was driving in ODTU’s campus listening to 110th street, windows open, smelling the forest....
Six years ago, when I broke a heart...
And I read the mail...
Opened the door to the car..
Turned the ignition...
Eyes full, tuned in City Radio,
Heard Alice Cooper singing Poison...
Running through your veins...
Do not remember when I drove to the city... Came to myself when the garage button had to be pressed...
And,
Now I will sit down to write a mail...
No idea what to write...
Just am thinking, what if... what if??
Reason is I remember the gate incident, remember I was frigging excited...
I know I missed something...
That something triggers others...
And the chain breaks...
Time does not come back...
Old friends are out there somewhere,
To people I never met, want to say I wish I did,
To friends I did not meet for a long time,
I MISS YOU ALL!!
IT HURTS!!!
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