Time passes by, taking us with it

On Monday, sitting in front of the pc,
Just am about to leave...
Thinking why the world is still shaking,
Apparently having forgotten I was on a cruise that weekend,
Wonder why the world seemingly floats around all the time...

MSN Pops up:
You have received mail from xxxx

Who the hell is that?
I read the first sentence,

Telling my license plate in Turkey, and using the words which tell me the story will be from Ankara, a night where I had to talk with the guard at the university gate...

Then I read,
11 March 1998...
Now I know this is going to be heavy...
This will end in a fight between me and my past..
I need to leave..
Curiosity prevails..
Press the print button,

On the way to the car, read the rest...
Remember an event six years ago...

A girl keeping shy about a guy she wants to meet..
A guy, not having the guts to talk to an interesting girl more than asking a question...
Two people leaving into the night’s darkness.. Maybe not to see each other again...

They meet...
May...
Ankara...
Warm...
Spring...
Mayfest...
Concerts..
Open air,
Tshirts..
Young...
Innocent,
Shy...
Fun..
From what I understand, we meet in a cafe...
Possibly CafeMiz in Arjantin,
Not sure...
Not sure, but this event triggers me..

And the fire spreads...
The fire makes me realize..

That I just know that,
Time passed by, and so many people have been left undiscovered,
so many lives unnoticed,
so many friendships unstarted,
so many loves left untouched...
so many kisses unkissed..
so many hearts broken...
so many suns unrisen...
so many rivers dried..
so many feelings unborn...
so many fears unscared...
so many stories not experienced..
so many joys skipped..
so many laughters forgotten...
so many I love you's unsaid..
so many hugs undone...
so many tears unshed...

Six years later, when she writes that text, she does not know she put the dagger into my heart, into my soul...
I will not see her again, nor can I remember the face,
But the time, I felt; the feeling I had stay with me...

Friends all over the world, Faroes, Pakistan, Portugal, States, England, Denmark, Germany, Sudan, Cyprus.... All have a place in my heart... this mail made me realized how much I miss them, the times we sat and had fun... The times we did not have fun... The good, the bad... Anytime we had...

Spring may ninety eight.
Six years ago...
I am single...
Pass by an opportunity to meet someone interesting...
Someone who can write such a beautiful mail...

Six years ago, when my brother was seven, and I am again away from home...
Six years ago, when my friends were young, unmarried, not parents...
Six years ago, when I was driving in ODTU’s campus listening to 110th street, windows open, smelling the forest....
Six years ago, when I broke a heart...

And I read the mail...
Opened the door to the car..
Turned the ignition...
Eyes full, tuned in City Radio,

Heard Alice Cooper singing Poison...

Running through your veins...

Do not remember when I drove to the city... Came to myself when the garage button had to be pressed...
And,
Now I will sit down to write a mail...
No idea what to write...
Just am thinking, what if... what if??
Reason is I remember the gate incident, remember I was frigging excited...

I know I missed something...
That something triggers others...
And the chain breaks...
Time does not come back...
Old friends are out there somewhere,
To people I never met, want to say I wish I did,
To friends I did not meet for a long time,

I MISS YOU ALL!!
IT HURTS!!!