One May 1st: Ooops she did it again

I love it. I love it when I see through the bullshit early enough.

I love it when karma protects me from stupid bitches.

It is the second day of my 1^st of May celebrations. After supporting a heavy hangover of that night before, am again enjoying a light buzz from that vodka, Ruissan Standard, and some beers.

As the night progresses, my friend starts talking with these three girls. One of them is a girl, who, many years ago, when she was still young, after having a long chat in the bar, gave me her number, begged me to call her, and answered my text with "You are seeing many women. Bla bla bla". At that time I felt the sting of anger, but then, as always, good riddance to rubbish. No reply was necessary. If that is a game, I aint playing it anyway.

After that event whenever I saw her she had that look in her face. I think nowadays it's called the permascowl.

Well, to add to that permascowl, in a span of two-three months she had more sexual escapades than I had in that time. I remember this as I used to go to the same bar two times a week in this small town.

Five years after she dissed me for seeing many women, and consequently getting laid left and right by men who are seeing many women, she ends up as another notch for a totally wasted guy, who is seeing many other women.

I guess old habits don't break easily.

She still had the permascowl when she saw me, I still sang the song "Karma Police" when I saw her.

Karma police. To protect and to serve. Me.

I love it when karma protects me from stupid bitches.

The lion king, eats live game

Am out with friends, I am not drinking but they are on the way of total wasteland.

When I am sober in a bar, I tend to observe and tend to see too much, one of my good friends knows this, so he comes to me, all pumped up,

"Man, you are a lion, you are a male lion, go an get something! Be the lion that you are"

Sadly, he realized he is dealing with a difficult case when the lion answered,

"Dude, a lion does not feed on rotten carcass"

One night in lynx – Women and pick up lines

This is part 4 of the "one night in lynx" series.

I firmly believe a woman's job in flirting is to give shy-inviting looks.

Look in the eye, look down, look back up and smile.

He will get the message.

If a woman wants to go to a man, "hi" is all that is needed.

That being said I find it extremely disregarding when women criticise a man for being desperate or stupid for using a bad opening line on a woman. When most women totally blow it when they go talk to a man. The best ones I remember being used on me were "hi", "Why did you stop dancing" and "where are you going tonight". First is neutral, second tells of the situation and was fitting the context, the third, well, she was good looking, I was horny.

The usual opening line I get from women is usually "You wanna dance?"... No I don't.

The last one, this woman coming up to me all motivated and sure of herself,

"Hey, you must be the boyfriend of dreams"

WTF????? I've said some shit in my life, and justly got rejected for it, but it is rare that I am so corny.

"No, I am not" And I will not be, I am busy drinking with my friend and singing/shouting "fear of the dark".. Get the message? No, she did not.

"So where are you from"... I just shot you down, leave. I do not treat people bad. I believe in people getting the message when I am straight with them.

"Germany, and I would like to continue my drinking with my buddy here. Thank you and good night"

"Germany? I was in....." when my friend interrupts,

"Fuck off"

She got the message, too late for my liking, definitely was too late for her.

And then, it was back to vodka and iron maiden.

One night in lynx – Men behaving badly

This is part 3 of the "one night in lynx" series.

I think I sang fear of the dark for half an hour or so, in the meantime my friend was flirting with a few girls who happened to walk by, girls who were interested.

But then, singing fear of the dark was more fun that to jump on the grenades, which happened to be the girls' friends. Näää, I will continue singing.

Apparently we had these two 50 year old women on our table who were watching us,

One guy having girls chatting with him

One guy having the girls' friends eyeing him, but choosing to sing by himself,

And they exploded.

"You are dangerous"

"You are assholes"

"Why are you like that"

I tried reasoning, my buddy tried reasoning with them, to no avail, until he uttered his favorite phrase.

"Fuck off"

Go home, take your grandkids on your lap and tell them you managed to get a "fuck off" (deservedly) from two attractive men. What a fucking life.

So, I talk to women, I am a player, or an asshole, I dont talk, I am dangerous and an asshole,

So why should I even try not to be an asshole.

Btw, for the clueless, you cant do much wrong with being an asshole, while you'll live in the jerk off stage for a long time by trying not to be one. Sad really.

And the answer I gave to a good friend of mine that night when she asked "Are you a bad boy",

I said "No, I go my own way, that is all"

.... I am the man who walks alone.... the streets of cobblestone... dapdadappdaadppadapp

One night in lynx - Fat feet in my face

This is part 2 of the "one night in lynx" series.

Thanks God I was already smashed when I went to the bar to order some Jaloviina (traditional brandy or something), gave my order and had to witness a fat foot rising up to the bar desk, the white socks taken off and the sausage toes with red nail polish shown to some dude hitting on that 35ish blondie.

Alcohol can also be used to erase images your eyes had to see.

Effectively.

One night in lynx - The look that spoke

This is part 1 of the "one night in lynx" series.

It is one night broken into few posts, number yet unknown to me as I write with no plan.

Stsnding with the whiskey in my hand, she walks by and gives me the look.

He, a spanish, walking behind her, sees the look in her face, and then he looks at me.

He knew, that I knew that he knew that I was there before him, and it was just a matter of me inviting her, while he had to still jump through hoops to get there.

End of the night, I, with a good friend of mine, by choice, leaving, and the spanish is on the phone, "Where are you? I could not find you"....

Well, after a story I heard about a friend of mine shagging a girl in the beginning of the night, then the girl getting lost, and then calling him at the closing time, if he wants to meet as she is just out of a hotel room, I would've suggested this spanish to get a clue, close the phone and go home.

Did I?

What the fuck do I care.

The look in his face was entertainment enough. And he is a latino, he can handle it.

Been there, done that, good luck to you buddy.

Good girls love wild

There are things you notice while going through life, that make you smile.

Sisters they are. In their social circle, they are playing the "good girls".

Good girls choose good guys?

Think again.

These sisters have lately been hanging around with this Snoop Dogg imitator, minus the badboyness, possibly my age, but ten years older in the face due to alcohol and substance abuse, who was for long time dating this anorexic blond trash who thought she was Madonna. Both with matching attitudes. Not a guido, more like "wannabe guido".

I'd say perfect match for these good girls.

Now only if there would be a way to spread the news to their future Captain Save-A-Ho's...

Now... Let the hate mail come!