If I am desperate, you are fucking pathetic – ONE

I heard them many times, but did not dwell on them.

As the memories of all the independent occurrences are coming into mind, I need to spill out some thoughts out of my head onto this white word sheet.
The anger at other people arises from the fact that, if I am about to have fun, and these break my fun with stupid comments, they are guilty. If you don’t want to execute these, you get angry.
And of course, if these stupid comments prevent me from getting laid that nite, I get pissed.

Here are the trigger sentences, for this text, said for the same bar, for Saturdays, said by a multitude of men and women:

“You are always here in this bar, that’s desperate”
“You are working hard, being here every week.”
“You sit on this table all the time, that’s not good.”

So let’s brainstorm…

ONE:

“You are always here in this bar, that’s desperate”

Is it…
This is a fucking small town. And I like my age group. So, how many bars/pubs are there to go to. ??? One…
And how many weekends do I have on the week, One…

What am I gonna do, sit home and commit suicide for being homesick? Something you may not know, not visiting your parents who live in the same town, in the last two years…
Or go out with my friends, enjoy the chats, the time, talk to people passing by, girl or boy, meet long lost acquaintances….????

It is this fucking idea that “you go to bar to fuck someone, or get an ego treat”....
I don’t need that.
Of course I hit on women, successfully or not… By now I have women who evade me, and women who think I am a God or something…

Saturday is a weekend, and unlike solitary Finns, we southerners are lone wolfs who enjoy the pack. Hunt lone, live lone, have a pack.

And as said, I am bloody far from home, from a brother for whom a song makes me cry. And I am supposed to spend the Saturday nite home, watching some shitty Hollywood flick, some porn, jerk off and sleep, or call a girl and spend my Saturday at home with one person, what I can do on weekdays anyway…

I am no Fin.
I do not play with the Finnish rules, that you have read here a ditty thousand times.

Yes, I am desperate, for I will do anything to have good time. A good conversation, a good touch, and irresistible eye contact. Having fun at the end of a bloody week.
And I am there, because people I like to talk to know I am there. It is not fucking London, where you have two thousand pubs.. It is Tampere, and this is the only place to go.
Ah yea, I talk to women, and if we have the same frequency, we have good time with the conversation… By that I mean laughter, not a fucking interrogation.

Laughter, joy, fun, pleasure, pussy.
I want that.

And if you call me desperate for that, you know what, you are bloody pathetic...
Living in a world of shadows. The shadow of the hell where the only aim is to prove one's worth...

P.a.t.h.e.t.i.c....