One night in the ugly - Few shorties

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The loss that hurt

This young cute girl comes to the dancefloor, happy and cheerful with two full glasses. Gives one to her friend, all cheerful and happy, and takes a sip from her own, when someone bumps into her.

Plofff goes the glass on the floor.

If you've ever seen a small baby whose balloon just exploded, you know what I am talking about.

She stood there eyes open, tears forming in her eyes, hands open, gesturing to her friend in a "why? why? why?" manner.
She stood there for full five minutes. Watery eyes and all.

That must have been some important drink..

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The wrong thing to do when you see a girl you think is good looking,

Is to tap your friend on the shoulder and point to the blondie,

Is to tap my arm when the tall brunette looking like young Liv Tyler apporaches, then tap my shoulder, then tap my elbow, and then squeeze my elbow upon me not reacting, when all her four friends are sitting a meter behind me.

Talk about making intentions known.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Previously I blogged about the best rejection, but this one could compete,

This foreigner was hitting on some chick, who was not interested, but he did not get the message.

The chick pulls a local that she knows beforehand to herself, and says in english,
"Let's go home", the local's face lights up with a smile.

Funny thing is the foreigner turned to me with a confused face, I smiled, knowing that the local just hit the jackpot, as the girl was hitting on another local just five minutes ago, but got rejected herself.

Another "right place right time" lay.

Girl gets rejected, gets pissed, some dude hits on her making her more pissed, she goes gets laid with a passerby, to ease the pain, and to get rid of the dude.

Winner in the picture?

Passerby.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

One May 1st : The third best compliment a guy can get

I was thinking of keeping this one short, only writing about the compliment. But Marylin just passed by when I was writing the previous story. The story deserves to be known.

That friday. Drunk. I have downed about 15 shots vodka and gin.

One the way to the loo I see Bridget, the cute female athlete who I learn later is 18. I had her number in my phone almost a year ago but the follow up did not happen. So I chatted her up, she said

"Marylin is over there"

"So?" And continued to the pissing wall.

I see these two later again, and start talking with them. A third one comes in, Heidi. Another 18-20 year old cutiepie, though bit on the anorexic side, she had her charm, and definitely did modelling.

Standing there with her arms crossed over her chest, looking restless, she was ripe for mocking.

And mocking is what she got. And enjoy it she did. Heidi enjoying the mocking, Bridget hating the situation, and Marylin amused but interested.

Me, aloof and uncaring, except getting my next vodka.

Bit more toying with Heidi, bit more toying mith Marylin, and Bridget, still looking pissed.

Then comes the bomb, from Marylin.

"You know Scarlett X."

I need thirty seconds to go through my head, "Yea, and?"

"She is my sister". Interlude: I met Scarlett few months ago, and hosted he in my place a few more nights after that.

"Cool. and?"

"She is a catch" true, the sister is a good woman.

"True, but, I am not one. Hey, see here is the message you sis sent me just ten minutes ago"

some bla bla

"Bridget is 18, and Heidi is my cousin..."

"Good, one big family."

Some lost memory here, she was saying something about me not getting her, and me saying I dont do sisters... Though Marylin is definitely one of the best looking girls in town, so apparently, I'd do her like a truck. Situation looks bleak.

I remember this exchange:

"You are a good looking woman"

"Yea, I know I am gorgeous"

"Yea, I see that, and you are also spoiled."

"No I am arrogant"

"Err... Spoiled is what you are. Arrogant is slightly different."

Few more words spoken, and she starts stomping her feet on the ground like a little kid who just got the candy denied from, says

"You are so fucking arrogant"

"Yes I am"

I got to hear the third best compliment for a man: "You are arrogant". Good.

Situation secured. I'll see her again, and then chances are high, especially if I have another lady in my arms.

Before that, I'll see the sister.

One May 1st: Ladies, you made your bed

Friday. The first of may. Like mentioned, am way over the acceptable drunk limit. Besides the other stories, I had a five minutes introduction to one of the douchebags in town, who I had actually met before, who happened to be a friend of my good friend.

Years ago when we met in a bar, he asked where I was from, I asked where he was from, to which he answered: "I am half finnish half asshole", and I had told him to use that f'ing line on the chicks, not on bloody me.

And then, as expected, a guy playing the asshole game, and seen as a douche by other men, is bound to get laid more often that the Regular Joe.

But truth, to the unseeing eyes does not come out too often.

The fourth guy in the picture is an uncurable NiceGuy, and I hope he knows this story as it happened in his house, and effing learns from it.

Well, our Halfassfinnishhole shags a girl in the end of the night. I think I remember the girl. Some young cute blondie with a few extra pounds on her, but cute, nevetherless.

In the morning, our Halfassfinnishhole got to hear "I fucked you only because you were such an asshole"

Good girl. Continue fucking the assholes, anyway in five years you will demand the princess treatment, and some sucker will pick the tabs the fuckers left on your nightstand.

One May 1st: Ooops she did it again

I love it. I love it when I see through the bullshit early enough.

I love it when karma protects me from stupid bitches.

It is the second day of my 1^st of May celebrations. After supporting a heavy hangover of that night before, am again enjoying a light buzz from that vodka, Ruissan Standard, and some beers.

As the night progresses, my friend starts talking with these three girls. One of them is a girl, who, many years ago, when she was still young, after having a long chat in the bar, gave me her number, begged me to call her, and answered my text with "You are seeing many women. Bla bla bla". At that time I felt the sting of anger, but then, as always, good riddance to rubbish. No reply was necessary. If that is a game, I aint playing it anyway.

After that event whenever I saw her she had that look in her face. I think nowadays it's called the permascowl.

Well, to add to that permascowl, in a span of two-three months she had more sexual escapades than I had in that time. I remember this as I used to go to the same bar two times a week in this small town.

Five years after she dissed me for seeing many women, and consequently getting laid left and right by men who are seeing many women, she ends up as another notch for a totally wasted guy, who is seeing many other women.

I guess old habits don't break easily.

She still had the permascowl when she saw me, I still sang the song "Karma Police" when I saw her.

Karma police. To protect and to serve. Me.

I love it when karma protects me from stupid bitches.

The lion king, eats live game

Am out with friends, I am not drinking but they are on the way of total wasteland.

When I am sober in a bar, I tend to observe and tend to see too much, one of my good friends knows this, so he comes to me, all pumped up,

"Man, you are a lion, you are a male lion, go an get something! Be the lion that you are"

Sadly, he realized he is dealing with a difficult case when the lion answered,

"Dude, a lion does not feed on rotten carcass"

One night in lynx – Women and pick up lines

This is part 4 of the "one night in lynx" series.

I firmly believe a woman's job in flirting is to give shy-inviting looks.

Look in the eye, look down, look back up and smile.

He will get the message.

If a woman wants to go to a man, "hi" is all that is needed.

That being said I find it extremely disregarding when women criticise a man for being desperate or stupid for using a bad opening line on a woman. When most women totally blow it when they go talk to a man. The best ones I remember being used on me were "hi", "Why did you stop dancing" and "where are you going tonight". First is neutral, second tells of the situation and was fitting the context, the third, well, she was good looking, I was horny.

The usual opening line I get from women is usually "You wanna dance?"... No I don't.

The last one, this woman coming up to me all motivated and sure of herself,

"Hey, you must be the boyfriend of dreams"

WTF????? I've said some shit in my life, and justly got rejected for it, but it is rare that I am so corny.

"No, I am not" And I will not be, I am busy drinking with my friend and singing/shouting "fear of the dark".. Get the message? No, she did not.

"So where are you from"... I just shot you down, leave. I do not treat people bad. I believe in people getting the message when I am straight with them.

"Germany, and I would like to continue my drinking with my buddy here. Thank you and good night"

"Germany? I was in....." when my friend interrupts,

"Fuck off"

She got the message, too late for my liking, definitely was too late for her.

And then, it was back to vodka and iron maiden.

One night in lynx – Men behaving badly

This is part 3 of the "one night in lynx" series.

I think I sang fear of the dark for half an hour or so, in the meantime my friend was flirting with a few girls who happened to walk by, girls who were interested.

But then, singing fear of the dark was more fun that to jump on the grenades, which happened to be the girls' friends. Näää, I will continue singing.

Apparently we had these two 50 year old women on our table who were watching us,

One guy having girls chatting with him

One guy having the girls' friends eyeing him, but choosing to sing by himself,

And they exploded.

"You are dangerous"

"You are assholes"

"Why are you like that"

I tried reasoning, my buddy tried reasoning with them, to no avail, until he uttered his favorite phrase.

"Fuck off"

Go home, take your grandkids on your lap and tell them you managed to get a "fuck off" (deservedly) from two attractive men. What a fucking life.

So, I talk to women, I am a player, or an asshole, I dont talk, I am dangerous and an asshole,

So why should I even try not to be an asshole.

Btw, for the clueless, you cant do much wrong with being an asshole, while you'll live in the jerk off stage for a long time by trying not to be one. Sad really.

And the answer I gave to a good friend of mine that night when she asked "Are you a bad boy",

I said "No, I go my own way, that is all"

.... I am the man who walks alone.... the streets of cobblestone... dapdadappdaadppadapp