Simple Cures: Pissing fire?

You met a cute little thing, you had chemistry. Chemistry led to some petting, petting led to two animals ravaging eachother.

Then you notice the condom slip. Too late. You don't come but have been inside for some time.

Whatever, you think to yourself, I did not come, so no problem.

Or, you simply did not use a condom.

Few days pass, you are texting with this girl some naughty stuff, then when you get up to pee, your eyes almost black out.

Fuck.

Is this what a Dragon feels in his throat?

Damn man. It's like pissing fire.

Immediately you go to a doctor.

My case:

Am pissing fire. Go to a doc. Who knows my family. Totally embarrassed. Does not feel there is a need for test, gives me a injection. The male nurse giving me the shot looks at me smiling, "You ass burns?".. "No fucker. I piss fire", taken aback "Ha, ok man, sorry to hear. Sorry. Sorry.". JAB. The girl I was with accuses me of accusing her for being a whore, throws her test at my face, which shows a sexually totally healthy girl. That was a good fight. Well, different culture. The jab does not work.

Years later

Pissing fire again. Went to the doctor, who told me to get these antibiotics while waiting for the test results ...  Fucking asshole. If I knew what antibiotics do, at that time, I'd have sticked the prescription up the doc's ass who was saying "let's try this until the results come"... This is the lauded "free healthcare"... Anyway, the antibiotics don't work, the tests are clean, the asshole tells me to try different antibiotics... Am I paying tax for this shit? Those do not work either.

But I have a memory of the previous incident, where the doctor told the girl about bacteria imbalance, and that it is not a big thing. So I am calm. Still pissing fire.

So I start my protocol that I had done the previous time upon reading some herbal books.

Immense amounts of tea:

Sage
Nettle

Now, with sage you only want to use it in high amounts in emergencies like this one, as it increases estrogen and is given to women who want to naturally grow their breasts. But is also a good anti-inflammatory, or antibacterial.  Did not check my facts.

So is nettle.

Now you are drinking few cups of sage tea, few cups of nettle tea a day.

One more thing which is advised is cranberry juice, but I never likes it.

So what else can you do to fasten the healing process?

Lemon juice and grapefruit juice. Drink like there is no tomorrow. I think it was that these further acidify your pee.

Few days,

You will faintly remember playing Dragon with your Ding Dong.



Disclaimer: This is a report of personal experience, only in the case of pissing fire while having a clean test result or while waiting for the test result, and is in now way to replace medical advice. Consult your doctor before you decide to do anything other than what the medical personnel advises you on.

Like, "Let's try this..... destroy your inner system... kill billions of useful bacteria... because making tests fast is expensive..."

Before I close: You got a girlfriend whose breasts you want to be bigger, buy some packs of sage tea. Try double bags in a cup, four times a day.

Worst case, you will have a totally mellow girlfriend. 

Another public service from Finndistan,  not for money, for love.