Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Bad wingman makes for a good nuke

I am known for not rolling with my friends as wingmen. Some even have argued with me how shitty a friend I am when I did not introduce them to the second girl in the group, not considering why I may have not done it.

There are only few guys I can roll with as wingmen, and these guys are fast.

Other guys have proven time upon time not to be able to carry the slow but strong energy of the interaction that I was having, and it does not help that I am not flexible during a flirt.

So, unless i have one of these two or three guys by my side, I run solo.

Walking up the stairs, friend just in front of me, I see these two girls, Orange and Whitey. One in an orange top, one in a white top. I thought the Orange is very cute, and I may have detected a very subtle smile.

The girl were talking, I slow down, walk in between them, turn towards Orange,  slowly and deeply say,

"What if I say hi?", looking in her eyes. I know it is not the best "hi" objectively, but in my philosophy any "hi" is the best hi compared to walking by.

"Hellooo" she replies in a girly voice smiling from ear to ear.

Introductions are made, and a few sentences exchanged, and I turned to Whitey, for further introductions.

Whitey caught me with

"I know you"

So the introduction which was supposed to be

Takes two extra sentences, at the end of which I notice that my friend took the liberty of injecting himself beside orange, drinks in hand, both hands holding the drinks at the chest and making nice small talk.

A conversation which has been opened in that deep low slow energy cannot handle NiceGuy talk, and the girls ejected.

Whitey used to be a bartender in a bar that I frequented back in 2004, and she still remembered me, so, that might also have been an issue, but from the eye contact that I was following on Whitey's eyes, the signal came from Orange.

So I literally got Nuked.

Here, I have to do a self reflection:

I should have immediately introduced NiceGuy to Whitey and continued with my fun with Orange.

I did not, and I paid for it.

For next time I hold the philosophy,

"Bros before hos, unless bros come to nuke hos, then bros not deserve hos, bros to be nuked to the Planet of For-The-Moment-Not-Bros"

The girls left and I turned to NiceGuy,

"Dude you just f¤%ked me" as anything more, anything with a clearer explanation or future action guidelines could have irreperably damaged my relation.

"Why? You got lost, then I saw you talking to the two girls and I came for help"

Any future discussion was hopeless at the point.

I dont need any help, and if I need, I will make sure to find some help.

For wanna be wingmen:

- Before you jump in your friend's interaction, get confirmation from him
- Not everything is as you see in two seconds, observe and then go to the rescue if the chances of needed help are 99% or more
- If you are not sure to help, statistically seen, then do not try to help. One guy bombs himself, the second guy nukes the whole airbase.
- Learn the way your friend interacts and either adapt, or stay out. Or come with a higher energy to a definite non target, and nuke her into your bed.

I myself am guilty of being a wingman who shot his buddy down in friendly fire, usually due to alcohol and usually to "Shots"...

But everytime I apologized, and I learned my lesson.

I run solo, unless it is a qualified wingman who I will not down in friendly fire or who will not nuke me into orbit.

Reminds me of:

I was 25 or so.

I had two 19 year old blond gorgeous girls invite me to their home, just then a friend at the bar entered the interaction, I was already in orbit when I realized I got nuked because he managed to piss the girls off in a second.

Retrospect: An immediate "F¤%k off" would have been very appropriate, but that came 30 seconds too late. He had deserved it. And apparently I have not learned my real lesson from this, judging from not moving NiceGuy out of the interaction or to Whitey, and letting him linger with the Orange, where I lost precious seconds. 

He has not learned his lesson but I have. Very good friend, yea, wingman? Hell no... I transferred him to the enemy squadron, shooting down their planes. He has no clue, they have no clue. 

My solo planes are flying happily like butterflies over flowery fields, smelling flowers, drinking nectar and bathing in the sun.

Point of this story:

No point.

Just planes, butterflies, Oranges and a little story.

1 comment:

  1. This is golden advice bro. I too have been gunned down by my "wingmen" many-a-times because they were either unqualified or unobservant, or even both! I'll put what you wrote to good use :)