Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Hipsters: Pussies with beards (yea yea, Smelly Media)

--- Turn off coolant ---

br>The Hipster.

Creating nothing.

Being smudge.

Pretentious assholes whose pants look like they stuffed their balls in their assholes.

Doing all they can do to look like fruits, pussies and androgynous creatures,

Now they decided they want to destroy facial hair.

Facial hair.

One mark of a man.

A mustache.

A three day beard (mine looks like five days)

The face cover so necessary in the windy -15 degrees winter weather; now part of a soft face.

Fuck you Hipster.

Get out of the closet, or get your balls out of your asscloset.

Hard times call for soft faces

Fuck you. Hard times call for hard men,

Hard times when your fall is halted by daddy government on the working man's expense; hard times in socialist economies where the sitting on the ass with the balls stuffed into their asses is rewarded while the ones who want to work are punished,

Yea, hard times in pussyland requires soft faces.

(I am in no way calling Finland pussyland; at least not the working people; like I always mention, it takes guts and hard work to create a civilization in this frozen hellhole)

But these hipsters, riding in these "hard times" with "soft faces"... Perfect cannon fodder, if not entertaning boyz for the arriving hordes.

Close-cropped hipster beards seem to have achieved a critical mass in Finland.
Today’s fashion-conscious man knows this season’s hottest item is homegrown.
Homegrown... Why, do other people grow their beard at the hair saloon?

I always go with a stubble or beard, and I got the chest hair as compliment, fitting jeans that have space for my balls.

On me, a beard will never look soft. Even when I am rocking a mormon beard... Even then, I look more like a....


First the shitster tried shirts close to the last button, got bored of that, now they rock shirts open till their man nipples, they tried full shaved, then the moustache, then the beard.

If there is an example of the consumer culture with nothing produced, look no further.

Fashion takes its cue from the economy—the harsher the times, the softer the
clothing, explained stylist Teri Niitti on YLE’s morning show on Wednesday.
One thing is for sure, I ain't hiring that dude for style.

Take away the jack from lumberjack, take away the manly from the beard, taker away the style from the fly, well, take away substance from a human. Replace with a pretentious smug face of narcissism.

So I guess my grandparents were wearing only silk clothing while bombs were landing left and right, and the nearest bucket of potatoes was miles away. , and hard times call for soft clothing.

This, this my friends, is just another example of the decline of humanity; (one could argue I am not better example, objection noted)

“We’re not talking about a polished 80s yuppie look. Now it’s time to be cozy
and furry. Soft caveman—that’s what it's about,” says Niitti.
I got a better word:


Your furry caveboyz can go give eachothers hairy cave-bear-hugs, I could care less. Or play "Pull my hairy balls out of my shiney arse with your hairy lips" game; I could care less. 

Another decline of the times is seen in women shagging these smug pretentious softies because it is a fashion.

Wait till cactuses are in fashion. They will also shag that. If cosmo says it is cool.

For years you shitster tried to be as androgynous as possible, believe me, looking like teddy bear in skinny jeans will not help.

The world has a few cancers growing fast, and hipsters is one of them.

--- Turn on coolant ---

Note: The pictures of the three male models in the article is really the most non-hipster fringe of hipsterism. These are just guys with style, not hipsters. I'll try to capture some on photo. 


  1. Have you ever seen Hel Looks? It's a "fashion" blog from Helsinki.


    I visited Helsinki for two days last summer and didn't see any girls that had horrible hipster fashion like this. Sad to know that the fuckers are everywhere. They're certainly crawling all over America.

  2. That website hurts my eyes.

    those are extreme cases, and while that style of women's fashion has not made it to the mainstream, the men on that site are gaining traction.

    For example recently spotted a hipster with women's boots, another one with a jacket that looks like a disco ball, and another male wearing leotards.